Sunday, August 9, 2009

Film Recommendation of the Week...

Come And See-(Release date September 27,1985)
Russian w/english subtitles.
Running time 2 hours and 22 minutes.



This film describes the brutal Nazi occupation of Belarus in 1943. Most war movies are done on a grand scale, focusing on the great battles that have occurred throughout history, yet rarely do we get a glimpse of the brutality faced by ordinary peasants and farmers.
Not only do we see the senseless slaughter of civilians by the German killing squads(Einsatzkommando), we are also taken into the heart of what was the Soviet resistance in the area at the time-partisan fighters who hid and lived in the forests and attacked the Germans when the opportunity presented itself.

I recommend this film for one major reason-never before has the Nazi destruction of Soviet towns and villages been captured in such harrowing detail. I would ask that you suspend judgment throughout the first hour or so of the movie(its' a little slow-moving and strange) just so you can see what I mean.

One of the greatest war films ever made.

Josh Hamilton-Recovering Drug Addict and Unrepentant Asshole...

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Josh Hamilton's story of failure and redemption does not begin or end with this incident. Anyone who's had the misfortune of being saddled with this type of person in their lives knows it all by now. The relapses, the incessant excuses, the apologies, the contrition, rise and repeat. Most are anonymous. We'll never know their names. But we have our preconceptions, from the street junkie who robs to feed his habit to the lonely employee, who comes in every day and does his job well enough not to get fired. This person is diligent about his employment because he holds on to it only to feed the beast, and their biggest fear is not exposure but losing the lifeline to that steady weekly/bi-monthly paycheck.

They live their lives in quiet desperation, their only motivation is getting high and staying that way for as long as possible. They watch their faces getting older in the mirror and they don't notice. They see the best years of their lives pass right by them like a Roger Clemens fastball and they don't even fake trying to take a swing. The drug is the thing, it is their reason for being.

Some are demonized, some are shunned and others are pitied. But the worst are the ones who have a steady conga line of enablers, who time and time again excuse the addicts' behavior and give them the interminable "second chance". This is one such man. I'm not a fan of deviant social behavior, but it is less odious when the person is flying solo. No one else cares about him, no one bats an eye when he is seen lying in the hallway of his apartment building, too fucked up to make it home. Let him sleep it off, we think-and go about our daily business. They're only destroying themselves anyway, and no one else cares.

But this guy has a wife and children. One day, when they are old enough to understand, some asshole in their middle school english class will be sitting in front of their laptop looking at these photos, and everyone will mock. His children do not deserve this, but in this age of portable technology and the world wide web, there is no escaping the public scrutiny and humiliation of having a loved one's most embarrassing moments caught for posterity.


Just a thought-I wonder if he was contemplating his relationship with Christ when this photo was snapped-


I present to you now an excerpt of the press conference Hamilton gave on his "relapse"-


"I'm embarrassed about it, personally, for the Rangers, for my wife, my children and my family," Hamilton said at his locker with a handful of his teammates joining the crowd of media that had formed. "It reinforces one of the things that I can't have is alcohol. It's unfortunate that it happened. I was out there getting ready for the season and took my focus off the number one factor in my recovery - my relationship with Christ. I hate that this happened..."I wasn't mentally fit or spiritually fit," he said. "It just crossed my mind ‘Can I have a drink?' Obviously, I can't. One drink leads to two and two drink leads to 10 or 12. When I was in AA, one saying I heard was one drink is too many and 1,000 is never enough. Alcohol just doesn't mix well with me."



Newsflash for you, big guy-It wasn't the alcohol-it was your behavior AFTER you drank and the fact that you were stupid enough to let yourself get photographed.

Anyone can relapse. It happens.

And unlike what they tell you at Alcoholics Anonymous, it's not that big of a fucking deal when you do. They want you to believe it's a big deal, that you'll be fighting this "disease" forever because if they told you otherwise it would be bad for business. And just what pray tell would they do with all those chips they give recovering addicts to memorialize their days, weeks, months and years of sobriety? Hold massive Bingo tournaments all over the country?

So it's in their best interests to keep you scared. But how exactly do you explain your actions? I think your "relationship" with Christ should take a backseat to the humiliation you caused your wife and family.



What this incident reinforces is that as long as he can hit a baseball, all will be forgiven-ALWAYS. He was the belle of the ball at last year's All-star Game, a tale of prodigious talent laid low by the wretched combination of drug addiction and hideous tattoos. Two things stand out about this which really sums up just how warped people are when it comes to sports and celebrity-

1) A fan rants on some sports program about the timing of exposing this incident because the Texas Rangers are in the midst of a heated pennant race. For these numbskulls there is no bigger outrage than having a peripheral issue distract fans and media alike from the sacred cow that is the pennant race. I'm sure while this concerned citizen is in his basement watching the game on his flatscreen his son is somewhere smoking marijuana joints dipped in embalming fluid and his daughter is out practicing for her first appearance on Ed Power's "Dirty Debutantes".

2) While Hamilton's face is in full view in these photos, the hoochies that actively participated in this Caligula-esque romp managed to have their identities partially concealed. They too should be exposed for the world to see, so that they have something to explain to their loved ones. His excuse was alcohol-what would be theirs for committing acts of public whorish debauchery? Someone PLEASE tell me who these robo-twats are.


I find it impossible to feel sympathy for this guy. He is being painted on sports talk radio as a victim of a dreadful disease, a man who succumbed to the siren call of his addiction and relapsed in a moment of weakness. Well, he wasn't found outside an OTB sleeping in the gutter with a losing double exacta ticket in one hand and an empty bottle of Wild Irish Rose in the other. A guy like that has problems. This motherfucker was living out the porno fantasies of every physically overgrown and mentally stunted jock in America. He doesn't belong in the Betty Ford Clinic-he belongs in the Playboy Mansion catching crabs sportfucking adult film stars in Hugh Hefner's infamous grotto.

So for you and other dickheads like you, Josh-here is that missing step they don't tell you about in those AA meetings you so frequently attend-


AMEN TO THAT, BROTHER.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Babe of the Week for August 7, 2009 is...


Alicia Keys!!!


This young lady is an absolute goddess. I don't have any of her albums and I only know one of her songs, but those are not prerequisites for "Babe of the Week" status-I'm not trying to nominate a Supreme Court Justice here-she just has to "Look Mahvelous, Darling...Absolutely Mahvelous"!!!

But if I were, I believe Ms. Keys would get bi-partisan support from both the House AND the Senate. All in favor say "AYE, MAMI"!!!













































Thursday, August 6, 2009

Presenting-The Stumbling, Bumbling Omar Minaya!!!


Oh, the sheer jackassery of it all!!!



Jesus Christ Almighty. If you are the head of a major sports team and you need a front-office employee to make a total fool of not only himself but also the entire organization, Omar Minaya is your man.

First of all, what major league baseball team holds a press conference to announce the firing of some underling no one's ever heard of? And by the general manager, of all people? Why couldn't they just shoot out a communiqué to the press and be done with it?

I'll tell you why...because Omar Minaya is an asshole. He set up this press conference for the sole purpose of throwing NY Daily News beat writer Adam Rubin under the bus, to humiliate him and make him look like he uncovered this story purposely to get Tony Bernazard fired so that he could take his position in player development. Tony Bernazard got himself fired, first of all. Whatever team he was in charge of(the Minnesota Ass Quacks, I believe their name is) were underachieving to say the least.


So what does this moron do? He takes his shirt off in the locker room and challenges players to a fight. Bernazard should know better than this-only major league clubhouses come equipped with MMA octagons. That was his first blunder. His second was to challenge a bunch of 20-something year old 'roid heads to a fight. They may not be able to hit a curve ball on the minor league level, but I'll bet you they can knock a shit-talking puerto-rican deep into the outfield bleachers. Then again, if I were Bernazard I'd be mad too if my baseball card was worth only 15 cents on the open market. And to think I stupidly traded two Biff Pocorobas and a Pete Lacock for this fucking loser...boy did I get robbed.

After reading this article on Omar Minaya from Sports Illustrated, I got the unsettling feeling that this guy is a lower-case Bud Selig-a good schmoozer, a guy whose real talents lie in kissing the right behinds and creating consensus amongst the right people to position himself advantageously.

Because the moves he's made have to be questioned-

1) Signing washed-up, over the hill(and into the valley) ballplayers who never contributed to the cause. Julio Franco-come on with this motherfucker. This is a guy who ADMITS to being 50 years old, and he's Dominican? You can safely add another 3-5 years to is birth certificate and you may be getting warm. Franco is so old he used to baby sit Minnie Minoso, for cryin' out loud.

2) Overpaying for players like Pedro Martinez and Carlos Beltran. There's a reason why Boston didn't offer Martinez a guaranteed fourth year-he was getting older, and they knew that his off-season conditioning program consisted of dead lifting Presidente beers and bench-pressing roast pork sandwiches in the Dominican Republic. This is what the Mets got for their 4-year, 53 million dollar investment-

32 wins, 23 loses in 79 starts, and a 3.88 ERA.

Those stats are enough to get any GM in the major leagues fired-but not Omar. By the time Martinez was finished, he wound up getting wheeled out of Shea Stadium in a full body cast. The guy can barely throw in the mid-80's, his physique resembles that of an overstuffed squirrel hanging in some taxidermist's office, and has the audacity to be upset with the Mets for not re-signing him. This retard has gotten hit in the head with too many fucking mangoes over there in the DR.

Carlos Beltran was not, is not, and never will be the superstar franchise player the Mets paid for. They outbid THEMSELVES by an extra 27 million dollars, all over the euphoria caused by ONE playoff performance when he was with the Houston Astros in which he overachieved mightily. He was never a consistent power hitter, he never hit for high average and was not known as a clutch performer. So what was Minaya thinking when he signed these two to these heavy contracts?

Injuries happen to all ball clubs, but not like they do to the Mets. And it's not because they sign too many latin ballplayers, it's because they sign too many latin ballplayers who are past their prime. And for whatever reason, Davis Wright and Jose Reyes are playing like they are warming up for Old Timer's Day. What's their excuse? If Ed Kranepool was latino, Minaya would of signed him to a minor league contract by now.

Which brings me back to Minaya. His press conference was so embarrassing it seemed as if he took a public speaking course from Porky Pig. It was the most inarticulate, poorly phrased press conference that you'll ever see from a person in such a position. Here is but a portion of this masterpiece...



This is par for the course for Omar. The press conference announcing the termination of then-manager Willie Randolph was even worse. No one knew what the hell he was talking about and it would take him three sentences of rambling, constantly repetitive nonsense to say what would of taken a trained seal three words. This type of "jackassery"(yes, "jackassery" is a word-don't play me in Scrabble, 'cause I've plenty more where that came from) does not get you fired in the world of pro sports. No, it gets you a contract extension.

There is no other word to describe this type of buffoonery. He is writing a book tentatively called "How to spend like the Yankees and perform like the Nationals". The other title being considered is "How to set Affirmative Action back 50 years in three easy steps". Omar Minaya-one giant step for man, one astounding leap for underachieving, overcompensated idiots everywhere. And you don't have to be latino to appreciate the irony.

William L. Shirer-Journalist, Author and Historian


William Lawrence Shirer(February 23, 1904–December 28, 1993) was a foreign war correspondent, journalist, historian, and author of what is considered to be the definitive text covering Nazi Germany-"The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich".

What makes this book unique is that it was written by a journalist who covered the events as they happened. This was quite rare at the time, as most historical texts were written by historians who resented Shirer because they felt he was treading on their area of expertise. They also regarded such an endeavor to be premature in light of the fact that historical perspective was lacking, since the book was published so soon(1960) after the fall of Nazi Germany.

The book is not hindered by this baseless complaint. If anything it gains an immediacy and urgency similar to watching a hurricane slowly building over the horizon and being powerless to get out of the way, and it does so with the help of many tons of documents the Nazis left behind.

It has also been criticized for it's seemingly dry tone, but we are not talking about watching music videos here. This is one of the best historical accounts of any event I've ever read. It's effectiveness lies in it's forgoing of flowery language and overdone descriptions and just gives the reader the facts. This is not to say that it reads like a prescription label, because it does not. It is well-paced and covers this very challenging material better than anyone has up to this date. This book has stood the test of time and it is highly recommended for whomever may be interested.

I would go so far to say that the majority of historical texts I've read don't come close to the insight and conciseness of Shirer's writing.


Shirer was strategically placed in the eye of the storm as a foreign war correspondent in Europe in the 1930's, but he was much more than a reporter. Here he is in the photo(below, sitting on the right with the beret, pipe and typewriter) reporting on the french surrender to Germany in Compiègne, France-


His radio broadcasts from Europe despite heavy censorship of the press were the stuff of legend, as was his relationship with Gandhi during the 1930's as he covered India. He also fought for liberty of the press, and despite getting blackballed in his own country(ironic after covering the Fascists) still managed to publish works of fiction and non-fiction alike. William Shirer-a great American who lead a great life.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Film Recommendation of the Week...


Let the Right One In-(Release date October 24, 2008)
Running time 1 hour 54 minutes.
Swedish w/english subtitles.



A lonely 12-year old Swedish boy who is bullied in school befriends a girl in the playground of his apartment complex who happens to be a vampire. This film centers on their growing relationship, how they find each other and comfort each other despite the fact that both are outcasts.

It is a sad, beautiful film. The gory death scenes are done extremely well and it is highly recommended. There is an American version due out in 2010 which I'm sure will pale in comparison, so if you are a fan of horror films check this one out. It definitely is different from the usual vampire flicks, but in a good way.

The producers of the film took a year casting the right child actors for the roles of the boy and the girl vampire. This is what makes the film so authentic, the fact that they look like normal, everyday kids. I believe the American version will fail in this aspect because, Hollywood being what it is, they'll disregard chemistry and probably cast cutie pies. The overall eerie feeling will also lose out to more explicit scenes of gore because American horror directors do not understand nuance and subtlety. They believe American audiences will lose interest if the gory scenes aren't overdone with blood and guts.

So do yourself a favor and check this version out. It is well worth the effort.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Babe of the Week for July 31, 2009 is...


Cecilia Roth!!!



Cecilia Roth is an Argentine actress who is one of the best in the business. She isn't that well-known in the United States but is a fixture in Latin American cinema. I first saw her in a film called "Lucia Lucia" and was very impressed by her talent, charm, charisma and beauty. She is a tremendous actress and I try to catch everything she does. The Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar has featured her in quite a number of his films.

Here she is at a movie premiere in London with the director and Penelope Cruz-



She is currently starring in the HBO Latino miniseries "Epitafios" which I will be featuring shortly. This really is a tremendous mini-series and it should not be missed.

Here she is with her co-stars from the series. On her right is Julio Chávez and on her left is Leonardo Sbaraglia, both great actors in their own right-


Congrats, Cecilia-you truly
are a stunning and talented actress.