And now a message from Lewis Black, a man for our times...

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Film Recommendation of the Week...

On this rainy day in NYC, I enthusiastically recommend a good thriller to curl up in front of your overpriced, soon-to-be obsolete flat screen television.

Klute
Release Date-June 25, 1971.
Running Time 1 hour 54 minutes.


A prostitute (played by Jane Fonda) assists private detective John Klute in his investigation into the disappearance of a business executive. It turns out that his disappearance coincides with the unresolved murders of a few of Fonda's prostitute friends, and is a suspect in the near-murder of Fonda herself.


Klute gets drawn into Fonda's seedy world and they develop an unlikely romance. Fonda won an Oscar for her performance, but Donald Sutherland also deserves accolades for playing the role of the conservative detective. We get to see NYC as it once was, in all it's grimy and garbage-strewn glory. Roy Schieder's in it, too and does an excellent job in his cameo appearance.

Babe of the Week for September 25, 2009 is...

Salma Hayek!!!

There is no fence high enough to keep this Mexican beauty from infiltrating our borders. We may want to stop Guillermo and his merry band of Mexican midgets from coming here for the privilege of cooking in our restaurants and basically taking jobs no one else would do, but Salma will ALWAYS get an exemption from INS. Why? Take a look...



Yes, she's a terrible actress. If you don't believe me, just rent "Wild Wild West" starring her and Will Smith. That would of been a career killer for anyone else, but acting is not her forté.

Yes, her accent is even worse.

Yes again, she is nothing but your standard-issue gold digger. (Marrying a French billionaire will put you in that category).

But the world is always more than happy to bestow upon you everything you've done nothing to deserve, all you have to do is loook mahvelous, dahling-and she most certainly does!!!

Idiots in the News...

After an exhaustive two month "sting" operation, it has come to the attention of the battle-ax housewives of the good state of Washington as to why their henpecked husbands love to take a ride down to the ol' Grab-n-Go Espresso drive-thru coffee house.


Baristas Charged in Sex Sting

Names: Five women, names not yet released
Ages: 18-24
Location: Everett, Wash.
Background: Detectives posing as customers at the Grab-n-Go Espresso say women were charging up to $80 to flash their skin as they mixed coffee drinks. Witnesses report that women exposed and touched their breasts and buttocks, engaging in a "whipped cream show."



So, what was it about this story that caught my attention? The fact that it took law enforcement 2 months of investigation and surveillance to bring these hoochies to their knees? (pun intended) Or the fact that the offending twats could only get a grand total of 90 days in jail and a $1,000 fine, and that's if they don't plead down which they most certainly will? Seems mighty fucking stupid to spend all that time, taxpayer money and effort when there are some real bad guys out there who are in dire need of surveillance. Has Washington eradicated all of it's meth labs? Is there nothing better for law enforcement to do than a pathetic sting operation of this nature?

But this is America, land of the sexually repressed, and certainly we cannot have any of this. It corrodes the vital fabric of our society, it undermines our core values, the morals that we as a nation hold so dear and what has made this country great...

...and because there is nothing more disgusting than a hot, beautiful young lady spreading her butt cheeks to expose the glory of her genitalia while serving up a hot cup of Joe to a bunch of losers who would pay up to $80 for the opportunity to see something they will never get close to in a million years.


Might as well taser me right now, 'cause there is no fucking way I'm letting a cop arrest me wearing those shorts.

Film Recommendation of the Week...

The Sea Inside
Release Date September 3, 2004.
Spanish w/english subtitles.
Running time 2 hours 5 minutes.


Javier Bardem gives another amazing performance, this time as a quadriplegic (due to a diving accident) who is trying to fight for his right to end his life in the Spanish courts. He loses the court battle but eventually takes cyanide.

A tremendous movie that won the Oscar for best foreign language film and over 14 Goya Awards. The acting by the whole cast is superb, and I highly recommend this film for those who enjoy grappling with existentialist questions on the meaning of life.

Babe of the Week for September 18, 2009 is...

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Jeimy Moya!!!


She's Dominican, lives in Miami (where else? Were you expecting Serbia?) and works as a hair stylist/model, but for all I know she could be our current Secretary of State. I have no idea what she does or how she does it, but let's be real-when you look like this, none of that bullshit matters.

The Death of Celebrity...

Even on the evening of his induction into the Hall of Fame, one moment stands out as truly bizarre in what was the quintessence of bad sportsmanship. He mentions Pat Riley and a situation with a hotel suite in Hawaii where Riley was staying but Jordan had reservations. Jordan mentions how Riley was forced to leave by hotel management, and on his way out Pat slips a note under his door saying, "We will meet again". Jordan waited this long to tell the world that even amongst dueling egos, he wins every time, even if it's over something as insignificant as a spat over a suite (as if there was just one in the whole hotel).

But it was Riley's competitive drive that forced the issue that day, and Jordan at least respected that if nothing else. Here is a quote from an interview with Michael in GQ magazine-

Interviewer-"You had a reputation as a guy who'd chastise, ridicule, and ride his teammates. Were you purposefully a demanding teammate?"

Jordan-"That was leadership. I was the only guy there from 1984. I was there when there were 6,000 people in the stands. So I took pride in making sure every guy understood what it took to get us to this point, and by no means am I going to allow you to come in and change what we'd begun-the transformation of a city that's never had a championship.

I used my criticism, my aggressive language, my aggressive behavior, to make you conform. Some people, like Sam Smith [author of "The Jordan Rules"], looked at this in a whole different frame of mind. At first I was offended. Then I realized, people don't understand our journey.

I bet if you ask anyone now on those teams, they have a greater appreciation for we achieved as opposed to the what method we went by to achieve what we achieved."

Interviewer-"But what was the relentless riding of your teammates about, especially once you've won a few championships? Was it you trying to guard against complacency?"

Jordan-"Absolutely. I never took a day off. If I took a day off, then Scottie was going to take a day off. And the Horace. The next thing you know, the whole scope of what were trying to do is being weakened. I never took a shortcut. and I never wanted anyone else to take a shortcut. If that meant someone interprets me as a tyrant, I'm pretty sure they're appreciative now."

Fair enough. But what occurred to me when I listened to this speech (and I did so more than once) was this competitive drive overlapped into his private life and personal relationships, to the point where he took the unprecedented step of marching all of these people into a packed auditorium just to hear this caustic harangue.

It is clear to me that success, world-wide adulation and untold millions of dollars was never going to be enough to quell the anger, the unfettered hatred this man feels towards pretty much everyone who's had the misfortune of floating anywhere near his trajectory. These people, who dared get too close to the fire, were meant to be consumed by it.

This speech was Jordan's "Fahrenheit 451". After he got done torching the NBA record books as a player, he took that same flame to anyone that ever meant anything to him. And the sad part is not one person stood up and walked out in disgust. They squirmed in their seats and nervously laughed at his pointed barbs, happy to have even been mentioned in his speech. The way they were individually stripped and raped was borderline obscene, but the manner in which they obsequiously endured this humiliation, to then honor him with a standing ovation was even worse.

If being in the presence of celebrity means that one has to endure emasculation and loss of dignity and pride, no thanks-I'll keep watching these guys on TV and hope that no one I know ever turns into such a disgusting human being.

Thanks for the memories, Mike-and thank you for articulating so clearly why people like you have no business being role models for our youth.