Babe of the Week for May 14, 2010 is...

Candice Boucher!!!


Want something pretty to look at? Here she is!!! Candice appears in a spread for the April 2010 issue of Playboy, and she is simply too much. To say she loooks mahvelous, dahling-absolutely mahvelous!!! is the understatement of the year.

This amazing looking goddess is a 27 year-old fashion model from South Africa-thank you Nelson Mandela for sending her over to us here in the states!!! She is the current "IT" girl for Guess? jeans. I guess that was a great move on their part.

Where will Lebron land?

Now that Cleveland has been unceremoniously bumped from the playoffs yet again, the speculation is rampant about where Lebron James will land once the free agent feeding frenzy begins. We here at "Busting Chops" have it all figured out.

There is only one team James can go to if he wants a ring, and that's Boston. Here is why-

1) The Knicks suck, and even if they add Wade or Bosh, they have no one else on that team worth playing with. They will also be at the salary cap limit yet again if they sign two max contract players. So adding other players, like the point guard they desperately need, will be out of the question. And please, Chris Dujon is marginally better than your average D-League desperado-he couldn't lead a crackhead to his pipe, much less be the floor general for a championship team.

2) Chicago-in a word, "NO". Joachim Noah is a serviceable big man, a high energy-type who suffers from a lack of coordination and a poor offensive game. What he lacks in talent he makes up for in hustle, and he has a lot of hustle. He is no better than any of Cleveland's current big men, just a tad bit younger. He's an overachiever who has maxed out his potential. Derrick Rose is a great point guard, but he is basically a smaller version of Lebron. Two guys with the same type of game on the same team won't work. Anyone else on that squad worth mentioning? No, not after they traded 50% of their offensive production to clear salary cap space. And their coaching situation is precarious at best. There doesn't seem to be much stability in that front office, which quite a number of times has resembled an MMA cage.

3) The Clippers are such a poorly-run franchise that even with their solid group of players, Los Angeles would not be a good move for him. And with Baron Davis, you never know what you're going to get-too many times he's shown up fat, injured and unmotivated. And their coach is...who, exactly?

4) Miami-they have two guys who cannot play their positions well enough to help them in the playoff hunt-Beasley and Chalmers. "Nuff Said.

5) Jay Z better go swallow a chill pill and wash it down with some Moet, or whatever high rolling rap moguls drink nowadays because James is not going to Jersey. Think the Knicks suck? These clowns are their lower case brethren. Brook Lopez is a solid big man in the mold of Jon Konkack, except he lacks Konkacks' sublime versatility and offensive nimbleness (that's sarcasm, just in case you missed it). He is worse than any big man Cleveland has right now, and the rest of his teammates do not bear mentioning. Forget Brooklyn, forget playing with point guard Devin Harris, forget the Russian billionaire whoremonger owner. The Nets have no future as a championship squad. I've seen this team play live-they are actually worse than their record indicates and their upside is severely overrated.

This leaves us with...

The Celtics will probably not resign Ray Allen, so there may be a spot for Lebron on a team where he does not need to be "The Man" every night. With a great core group of highly motivated and seasoned ballers, adding James will allow this hard-working, talented but aging roster to add 2 more years of championship caliber basketball to their resumes.

This all changes if he wants max money, which the Celtics cannot give him due to their salary cap issues. He makes enough money off endorsements so that his NBA salary should not be an issue. But a max contract on any other team will put him right back where he started with Cleveland-on a team too capped out to add the necessary pieces to make a run in the playoffs.

So he has a choice-go for the big money and endorsement opportunities in NYC, Miami or Chicago, becoming the global icon he already is and making his dream of being the first billionaire athlete come true, or he can cement his legacy with a couple of championships in Boston. He can take a pay cut for two years to get this done.

Any other move would just be a crab dribble down the lane of mediocrity.


Now, if he stays in Cleveland, they need to start moving their asses. First order of business should be the firing of coach Mike Brown. Get him outta there. That should be priority number one on their to-do list.

Second, now that O'Neil and Ilgauskas are free agents, they need to be shown the door. A sign-and-trade with Ilgauskas so they can get a quality player out of the deal would be a good move. They can't do that with O'Neil because no one wants his fat ass.

Third, start trading players. Antawn Jamison-OUT. Booby Gibson-OUT. Leon Powe-OUT. I would keep Telfair to see if he can run the point-he still is a relatively young player in the league and has not burned himself out. Besides, I like his game. He is a true pass-first point guard with speed and quickness that is hard to come by nowadays.

It's about time Telfair takes his melon-sized head out of his ass and realize that all of those idiots who told him how great he was in high school fucked him over, because he really should have gone to college to work on his game. Those are years he will never get back and it has hurt his development tremendously. But I believe there is still hope for him.

Lebron can carry a team only so far, and bottom line is the Lakers are stacked for the foreseeable future. James cannot go to any other team that can put the requisite talent on the floor to take them on except for Boston. And that's if they can get past the Orlando Magic, who have done nothing since last year except get better.

Lebron will make his money, and retire as the billionare global marketing icon that he always wanted to be. He will also be in a tremendous position to own an NBA franchise once he retires. Bt putting together a championship contender in the East, with all those teams in the West getting better and better, he may have to think outside the box on this one.

Frank Frazetta (Feb. 9, 1928-May 10, 2010)

The world of fantasy illustration has lost it's Godfather, the man who has influenced more people in the field than anyone else.

Where to begin with this man? A child prodigy who began his art studies at age 8 at the Brooklyn Academy of Fine Arts, he was encouraged by art teacher Michael Falanga. His mentor passed away before fulfilling his promise to Frank of sending him to Europe to study with the great masters, so off he went to work.

He began in the fledgling field of comic book illustration...

(under construction)

The NBA Playoffs...

Unfortunately for us basketball fans, the two best teams in the playoffs this year, the Atlanta Hawks in the east and the Denver Nuggets in the west, have all the talent in the world and absolutely no heart whatsoever.

Tonight is a perfect example. In the first quarter against the Orlando Magic the game was relatively close. After needlessly taking their first round series against a depleted Milwaukee Bucks squad to six games the Hawks will pull their panties up and start playing. It's not as if they don't have all the talent in the world-their roster reads like an All-Star team, and they have Jamal Crawford (another ex-Knicks player thriving under someone elses' system), the 6th Man of the Year award winner, coming off the bench.


The Hawks wound up getting blown out-BY 43 FUCKING POINTS. A game 1 blowout doesn't mean much-the Lakers got blown out by 49 during the first game of an NBA Finals series against the Celtics back in the '80s and came back to win it. But this ain't the Lakers.

It drives me crazy because I believe Atlanta has more talent than any other team in the Eastern Conference. The Celtics are a year too late to make another run at the Lakers, who are just too strong in their frontcourt and of course, you have Kobe Bryant. Besides, logic dictates that once you win with an aging roster you add one or two younger, more athletic pieces to help you through pivotal stretch runs. With this in mind they run out and sign Rasheed Wallace, who showed everyone how much he wants to win a title by showing up overweight (it is estimated he was anywhere from 35-50 pounds over his usual playing weight when he reported for training camp this year) and has a shadow of his former self.

The Cavaliers are a one-man band, with the addition of Shaquille O'Neil being their most desperate and bogus ploy to show Lebron that they are serious about winning a championship so he won't leave. He is another non-factor in Cleveland's arsenal due to how he has been utilized. And why bring back Ilgauskas if you're not going to play him?

The Magic let go of Rafer Alston and Hedo Turkoglu and replaced them with a then-retired Jason Williams (yes, White Chocolate himself) and Vince Carter, who last year when I saw him playing with the Nets looked like a massive, decrepit Bison one sees in a zoo that stand in the same spot all day because they're just too tired to move. His athleticism was a thing of the past and he, like Michael Jordan towards the end of his career, morphed into a fat jump shooter.


Somehow this re-shuffling worked in Orlando's favor because Williams and Carter came to play. And unlike the Hawks, who I'll bet will go down in in 4 or 5 games, The Magic are the only team that can take on either the Celtics or the Cavs. I don't want to see the Cavs in the Finals-nothing against Lebron, I just think they are overrated and will not be strong enough to beat the Lakers, who are getting an armchair ride into the Finals by playing over-matched opponents.

Film Recommendation of the Week...

Across the Bridge
Release date September 6, 1957.
Running time 1 hour 33 minutes.



Carl Schaffner, a German financier with a British passport (brilliantly played by Rod Steiger) is hunted by Scotland Yard for embezzlement. He has it all figured out until his plan unravels. Heading to Mexico from his NYC office by train, he meets a look-a-like whom he drugs, flings out the window and proceeds to assume the mans' identity. Only thing is, the man survives. Also, the man whose identity he steals is even more notorious than he, wanted in Mexico for murder.


Amidst the corruption, double-dealing and conniving by all parties involved, Schaffner, despite his money, contacts, and knowledge of the law winds up alone and disenfranchised except for the dog belonging to the man whose identity he attempted to steal. Finally taking pity on the poor animal (who follows him everywhere) and realizing it's his only friend left in the world, his attachment to the dog is what leads his undoing.

Too many plot twists to mention here (a good enough reason to watch the film) Rod Steiger is absolutely terrific in the role of this amoral snake. Despite all he has done one feels a bit of sympathy for him at the end. A great film, one that is very underrated and should be considered as one of the best of it's time.

The Davis Cup...

No, this has nothing to do with tennis. This award is named after the venerable street thug Larry Davis, a vile punk who made his living robbing drug dealers for their money and stash. In the ghetto hierarchy, there is no vermin lower than this type of character aside from a government informant/snitch.

But I'll go out on a limb and put him even lower than that. The streets, as much as I loathe gangsterism in all it's forms, have a code. The code in all reality means nothing, but something has to be said for maintaining some semblance of order. His lifestyle spoke to a nihilism and anarchy in which no resident, cop, or self-respecting drug dealer could operate in peace. What were the boundaries? Who were friends and who were foes? Everyone, it turns out. And for all the shit this motherfucker pulled, he was convicted only on weapons charges and the murder of a drug dealer.

Every now and them some asshole comes along and makes a complete mockery of the system and is allowed to thrive. Sammy "The Bull" Gravano comes to mind, but the shit he pulled wasn't on the same level as this unhinged lunatic. So the award is aptly named and will be presented on occasion where it is merited. It is for sports figures and other celebrities who do shit they should be fired for, but retain their positions due to deep connections, money or just the fact that we are too stupid and numb to mount any sense of true outrage at the shit these people perpetrate.


1) Tiger Woods


His saga with the hoochies, the car accident that blew the whole thing wide open and the impending divorce is old hat already. What isn't is the sheer hubris of this guy using the voice of his dead father-as a method to achieve grace and atonement?-NO. To sell more golf clubs and to give the illusion of a remorse that does not exist. Never will. He's too full of himself.



So what does he do when he comes back to his first tournament since his wife beat him up? The same exact shit he was doing before-controlling media access, not answering ANY questions, cursing up a storm when shots don't fall his way, and adopting his usual hands-off approach towards the fans. He even showed up for a practice round with two police officers. What a dick.

We don't have the courage to tell this guy he's an asshole. We don't have the courage to stop watching because we are told how great he is by a fawning, obsequious sports media and how transcendent of the sport his accomplishments are. It turns out he's a another in a long line of jive-ass turkeys that no one in their right mind should pay the slightest bit of attention to. I am proud to announce the very first Davis Cup award going to Tiger Woods, the biggest cock since Foghorn Leghorn.


2) Jeff Ireland

This one is a slam-dunk. Under no circumstances is there a reason for any white man to ask a brother if his mother is or was a prostitute. If you don't know where to draw such a distinction then you have no business being employed in a league whose stars are predominantly BLACK. But that's the thing about such people that many would love to deny-they make their money coaching, hiring and developing young black men for their teams, but deep down the resentment is visceral.


A cracker is always going to be a cracker, and no amount of exposure to others races and cultures will cure him of his misguided notions of white supremacy, made even more ridiculous by the fact that blacks in football dominate the majority of the so-called "skill positions", where speed, strength and quickness are at a premium. Any fat slob can play the offensive line. But to rush the line and get to the opposing player's quarterback time and time again? You need both strength AND speed. And if you're mother was a prostitute, I'm fairly certain you don't have much of either. So your next bet is to get a front-office job with an NFL football team.

Why this man still has a job speaks volumes of Bill Parcells. He's is legendary for being a Type-A personality asshole, but as soon as this story leaked, he should have been halfway down the hall to Ireland's office with the pink slip in one hand a a copy of "The Unemployment Handbook for the State of Florida" in the other.

Ah, but it gets worse. A reporter for Sports Illustrated said he obtained information stating the line of questioning was provoked by Dez Bryant himself, who when asked what his father did for a living answered, "My father is a pimp". I'm not going into the rest because it's just too stupid, even for this blog. The bottom line is the Miami Dolphins organization could have put the kibosh on this whole situation by apologizing to Mr. Bryant directly and summarily firing Ireland. But they did neither. People who engage in this type of buffoonery are beyond shame or contrition. Hence the Davis Cup is presented to yet another unrepentant and irreconcilable asshole.



3) Marcellus Wiley

He gets a Davis Cup for having the unmitigated gall to actually DEFEND this practice of degrading interview questions by pro football front office personnel. He used his interview with Bill Parcells when he was playing pro football as a template for condoning this behavior. This is how it went-Parcells was writing on a chalk board when Wiley walked into the room, refused Wiley the courtesy of turning around and shaking his hand. The first interview question? Do you do drugs. In the same breath Parcells had the nerve to say he not only wants to mold great players but also great men. Men with no manners, apparently.


Wiley is a graduate of Columbia University, he should know better. At the very least he should be smart enough to defend his ludricrous position with a bit more intelligence. But it fits in with the Ivy League modus operandi of graduating privileged elites with world-class educations while teaching them absolutely nothing about life. Unfortunately for him he gets a "Gentleman's C" for his debating skills. As you can see from this video from ESPN's "Outside The Lines" his reasoning is totally idiotic-

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5149448

He is just taking the opposing view just to make a name for himself as a commentator, but it is devoid of anything substantial. There is no way anyone can defend such practices by saying that is just the way these interviews are conducted. Sorry, Marcellus-what you lose in credibility you gain with this prestigious award. You must be engaged in words and deeds that go beyond the pale of mere goonery to win a Davis Cup. You have represented to the fullest with your defense of this method of interviewing pro football players.

Babe of the Week for April 30, 2010 is...

Anjulie!!!


Yes, this sultry Canadian of Indian/Guyanese descent has a very nice voice, a cool solo album and is a main attraction in this year's "Lilleth Fair". She has a very appealing look for those of us who dig dark-skinned women, but her sensual appeal doesn't end there-she is a multi-faceted artist who also writes hit songs for other performers. But what really matters is she loooks mahvelous, dahling, absolutely mahvelous.