Floyd Landis finally tells the truth...

Floyd Landis, the disgraced pro cyclist who has the dubious distinction of being the only Tour de France winner to ever have his title stripped for failing a drug test, has recently announced what has been obvious to many who are familiar with the sport-that he used PED's (Performance Enhancing Drugs) throughout his whole career.

This revelation in and of itself is not nearly as shocking as what came next. Landis has, in a couple of sentences, rocked the pro cycling establishment with his claim that while riding for the US Postal team from 2002-2004 there was an organized conspiracy to dope, and that the whole machinery was orchestrated by Lance Armstrong and implemented by the director sportif of the team, Johan Bruyneel.

I'm not going to rehash the bullshit that's been regurgitated by the various camps on this matter. UCI president "Fat" Pat McQuaid was demonstrably vociferous in his dismissal of Landis as a rogue character who has an agenda to destroy cycling. Armstrong accused Landis of extortion and posted emails from Floyd and some doctor associated with Landis as proof. Other riders and team directors made it a point that cycling should "move forward" from all this and forget the past.

These are the exhortations of people deeply entrenched in a corrupt system who, while paying lip service to the notion of a cleaner sport, are all scared of the 800-pound gorilla in the room-Lance Armstrong, who by the way not only represents a tainted past but his influence is one that could very well shape the future of the sport. If the allegations are cooberated by others with eyewitness testimony, better to rid pro cycling of Armstrong NOW before he poisons another generation of riders who all want to grow up and be just like him and will no doubt adopt the same measures he did on the way to becoming the kingpin of pro cycling.

These accusations could very well go down as the ravings of a lunatic, and let's face it-Landis has more then his share of credibility issues. From fighting his positive doping test, to writing a book proclaiming his innocence, to soliciting and accepting funds from fans to help counter the costs of his legal defense (which was estimated at around $2 million dollars), to the absolutely despicable phone call to Greg Lemond by his then-manager Will Geoghegan ridiculing Greg about the abuse he suffered as a child, to the French Authorities putting a warrant out for his arrest for computer hacking into a French anti-doping lab.


Many serious issues to set aside if one is willing to give these latest allegations any credence. And from reading the various cycling forums, Landis has already been convicted and hanged in the court of public opinion. But Landis may have people who, willingly or not, may be forced to give testimony to the shenanigans during Armstrong's reign as Tour champion. The USADA has procured the services of one federal agent Jeff Novitsky, he of the BALCO investigation, and according to an article in the London Sunday Times Davis Walsh has reported that one of the people who has agreed to cooperate is Lance Armstrong's ex-wife Kirsten.

This little detail adds a whole new twist to this tale. Right now we have no idea what she'll reveal, if anything. Certain former teammates who currently make their living off cycling are not going to be able to brush this aside if Mr. Novitsky comes knocking on their door. I understand their position. When your livelihood is on the line, the first thing you think about is your family. The second thing you think of is your own scrawny neck on the line.

There is a lot of conjecture out there in cyberspace over what may happen. Right now everything is quiet, and the only ones making noise and squirming like water rats are the ones who've been implicated. Ireland's Fat Pat McQuaid, the residing King Nutria of the UCI, cycling's governing body, has said that it was a mistake taking the "donation" from Lance Armstrong, which is proving to be a problematic little detail in and of itself. Was it $100,000 like he has recently stated, or was it the $500,000 as originally reported? Fat Pat also doesn't know exactly what happened to the "change" left over after allegedly using the money to purchase an apparatus for dope testing that cost $88,000. What happened to the leftover funds, Pat? That type of money certainly does buy a lot of corned beef and cabbage eh, you fat fuck?

Gotta Go to Mo's...

If you're shopping for athletic training gear, you gotta go to Mo's. This sporting goods store has been around forever, and they're a staple in every inner city neighborhood here in NYC. In the past, they've had some unfortunate floor spacing issues that made browsing an impossibility, and most of their clothing was straight-up garbage, the type of ill-fitting, low quality crap you'd find at a typical ghetto discount store, where the clothing is thrown haphazardly into huge bins.

But recently there's been a change. I have to give it to this store for evolving with the times. I stepped into their Fordham Road store in the Bronx and was extremely pleased with what I saw. Employees actually approaching customers, much more floor space devoted to walking around the clothing racks as opposed to everything being crowded, and separate clothing lines in their devoted floor space.

And the quality of the stuff they sell has definitely gone up several notches. Don't get me wrong, they still have to cater to the public assistance crowd and there is no shortage of inexpensive, cheaply manufactured clothing (hey, you can't expect the children of Section 8 housing subsidies to walk around naked now, do you?), but now they carry product lines from Under Armour, Adidas and Nike. And not their bullshit lines either, but the real thing.

For anyone wondering, the 'hood is the best place to seek out those bargains when it comes to basketball/running/training apparel. That's nothing new. But the difference now is you can get the same athletic gear ou'd find at the Sports Authority, Paragon or Macy's in downtown Manhattan for a little bit less. Plus, there is the added incentive for any red-blooded American male of loitering on the corner of Grand Concourse and Fordham Road and watching some of the most beautiful Puerto-Rican girls in the city walking around shopping with their friends and family. I'm telling you, this shopping district rivals Castle Hill and Washington Heights for stunning young latinas.

But I digress. Where were we? Oh yeah, Modell's. It's been my experience that while they don't carry EVERY item from a particular sports clothing line, they do offer some nice stuff. Let's face it, there are certain items that just won't sell in the hood due to cost. That's the reality, and sometimes you'll have no choice but to go downtown and pay those bullshit full retail prices if there is a particular item you need that Modell's doesn't stock.

And there is always the internet, but it's not always what it's cracked up to be. For example, I found the Adidas TG basketball shorts on sale for $12.50. That is a hell of a price for such high-quality gear. Try finding such prices anywhere else in the city. Such sale items are not advertised on the internet, so you actually have to go outside on occasion and step into a store to see what's happening.

Two things-one, you won't find everything on sale at close-out prices, but if you're patient and look around hard enough you'll find something at a great price. Nothing wrong with a $5.00 discount on an item like a workout t-shirt, especially if you are looking to buy more than one.

Two, there are Modell's all over the city, so you don't necessarily have to go to the 'hood if you're a fraidy cat. But don't be scared. Head uptown and walk around the other shops in the area, have a slice of pizza and stare at the insanely gorgeous latinas. Fordham Road is safe during business hours for even the biggest chicken-shit motherfucker. Some of these women look as if they've been genetically enhanced, so for me a shopping trip to Modell's is a no-brainer.

Babe of the Week for May 14, 2010 is...

Candice Boucher!!!


Want something pretty to look at? Here she is!!! Candice appears in a spread for the April 2010 issue of Playboy, and she is simply too much. To say she loooks mahvelous, dahling-absolutely mahvelous!!! is the understatement of the year.

This amazing looking goddess is a 27 year-old fashion model from South Africa-thank you Nelson Mandela for sending her over to us here in the states!!! She is the current "IT" girl for Guess? jeans. I guess that was a great move on their part.

Where will Lebron land?

Now that Cleveland has been unceremoniously bumped from the playoffs yet again, the speculation is rampant about where Lebron James will land once the free agent feeding frenzy begins. We here at "Busting Chops" have it all figured out.

There is only one team James can go to if he wants a ring, and that's Boston. Here is why-

1) The Knicks suck, and even if they add Wade or Bosh, they have no one else on that team worth playing with. They will also be at the salary cap limit yet again if they sign two max contract players. So adding other players, like the point guard they desperately need, will be out of the question. And please, Chris Dujon is marginally better than your average D-League desperado-he couldn't lead a crackhead to his pipe, much less be the floor general for a championship team.

2) Chicago-in a word, "NO". Joachim Noah is a serviceable big man, a high energy-type who suffers from a lack of coordination and a poor offensive game. What he lacks in talent he makes up for in hustle, and he has a lot of hustle. He is no better than any of Cleveland's current big men, just a tad bit younger. He's an overachiever who has maxed out his potential. Derrick Rose is a great point guard, but he is basically a smaller version of Lebron. Two guys with the same type of game on the same team won't work. Anyone else on that squad worth mentioning? No, not after they traded 50% of their offensive production to clear salary cap space. And their coaching situation is precarious at best. There doesn't seem to be much stability in that front office, which quite a number of times has resembled an MMA cage.

3) The Clippers are such a poorly-run franchise that even with their solid group of players, Los Angeles would not be a good move for him. And with Baron Davis, you never know what you're going to get-too many times he's shown up fat, injured and unmotivated. And their coach is...who, exactly?

4) Miami-they have two guys who cannot play their positions well enough to help them in the playoff hunt-Beasley and Chalmers. "Nuff Said.

5) Jay Z better go swallow a chill pill and wash it down with some Moet, or whatever high rolling rap moguls drink nowadays because James is not going to Jersey. Think the Knicks suck? These clowns are their lower case brethren. Brook Lopez is a solid big man in the mold of Jon Konkack, except he lacks Konkacks' sublime versatility and offensive nimbleness (that's sarcasm, just in case you missed it). He is worse than any big man Cleveland has right now, and the rest of his teammates do not bear mentioning. Forget Brooklyn, forget playing with point guard Devin Harris, forget the Russian billionaire whoremonger owner. The Nets have no future as a championship squad. I've seen this team play live-they are actually worse than their record indicates and their upside is severely overrated.

This leaves us with...

The Celtics will probably not resign Ray Allen, so there may be a spot for Lebron on a team where he does not need to be "The Man" every night. With a great core group of highly motivated and seasoned ballers, adding James will allow this hard-working, talented but aging roster to add 2 more years of championship caliber basketball to their resumes.

This all changes if he wants max money, which the Celtics cannot give him due to their salary cap issues. He makes enough money off endorsements so that his NBA salary should not be an issue. But a max contract on any other team will put him right back where he started with Cleveland-on a team too capped out to add the necessary pieces to make a run in the playoffs.

So he has a choice-go for the big money and endorsement opportunities in NYC, Miami or Chicago, becoming the global icon he already is and making his dream of being the first billionaire athlete come true, or he can cement his legacy with a couple of championships in Boston. He can take a pay cut for two years to get this done.

Any other move would just be a crab dribble down the lane of mediocrity.


Now, if he stays in Cleveland, they need to start moving their asses. First order of business should be the firing of coach Mike Brown. Get him outta there. That should be priority number one on their to-do list.

Second, now that O'Neil and Ilgauskas are free agents, they need to be shown the door. A sign-and-trade with Ilgauskas so they can get a quality player out of the deal would be a good move. They can't do that with O'Neil because no one wants his fat ass.

Third, start trading players. Antawn Jamison-OUT. Booby Gibson-OUT. Leon Powe-OUT. I would keep Telfair to see if he can run the point-he still is a relatively young player in the league and has not burned himself out. Besides, I like his game. He is a true pass-first point guard with speed and quickness that is hard to come by nowadays.

It's about time Telfair takes his melon-sized head out of his ass and realize that all of those idiots who told him how great he was in high school fucked him over, because he really should have gone to college to work on his game. Those are years he will never get back and it has hurt his development tremendously. But I believe there is still hope for him.

Lebron can carry a team only so far, and bottom line is the Lakers are stacked for the foreseeable future. James cannot go to any other team that can put the requisite talent on the floor to take them on except for Boston. And that's if they can get past the Orlando Magic, who have done nothing since last year except get better.

Lebron will make his money, and retire as the billionare global marketing icon that he always wanted to be. He will also be in a tremendous position to own an NBA franchise once he retires. Bt putting together a championship contender in the East, with all those teams in the West getting better and better, he may have to think outside the box on this one.

Frank Frazetta (Feb. 9, 1928-May 10, 2010)

The world of fantasy illustration has lost it's Godfather, the man who has influenced more people in the field than anyone else.

Where to begin with this man? A child prodigy who began his art studies at age 8 at the Brooklyn Academy of Fine Arts, he was encouraged by art teacher Michael Falanga. His mentor passed away before fulfilling his promise to Frank of sending him to Europe to study with the great masters, so off he went to work.

He began in the fledgling field of comic book illustration...

(under construction)

The NBA Playoffs...

Unfortunately for us basketball fans, the two best teams in the playoffs this year, the Atlanta Hawks in the east and the Denver Nuggets in the west, have all the talent in the world and absolutely no heart whatsoever.

Tonight is a perfect example. In the first quarter against the Orlando Magic the game was relatively close. After needlessly taking their first round series against a depleted Milwaukee Bucks squad to six games the Hawks will pull their panties up and start playing. It's not as if they don't have all the talent in the world-their roster reads like an All-Star team, and they have Jamal Crawford (another ex-Knicks player thriving under someone elses' system), the 6th Man of the Year award winner, coming off the bench.


The Hawks wound up getting blown out-BY 43 FUCKING POINTS. A game 1 blowout doesn't mean much-the Lakers got blown out by 49 during the first game of an NBA Finals series against the Celtics back in the '80s and came back to win it. But this ain't the Lakers.

It drives me crazy because I believe Atlanta has more talent than any other team in the Eastern Conference. The Celtics are a year too late to make another run at the Lakers, who are just too strong in their frontcourt and of course, you have Kobe Bryant. Besides, logic dictates that once you win with an aging roster you add one or two younger, more athletic pieces to help you through pivotal stretch runs. With this in mind they run out and sign Rasheed Wallace, who showed everyone how much he wants to win a title by showing up overweight (it is estimated he was anywhere from 35-50 pounds over his usual playing weight when he reported for training camp this year) and has a shadow of his former self.

The Cavaliers are a one-man band, with the addition of Shaquille O'Neil being their most desperate and bogus ploy to show Lebron that they are serious about winning a championship so he won't leave. He is another non-factor in Cleveland's arsenal due to how he has been utilized. And why bring back Ilgauskas if you're not going to play him?

The Magic let go of Rafer Alston and Hedo Turkoglu and replaced them with a then-retired Jason Williams (yes, White Chocolate himself) and Vince Carter, who last year when I saw him playing with the Nets looked like a massive, decrepit Bison one sees in a zoo that stand in the same spot all day because they're just too tired to move. His athleticism was a thing of the past and he, like Michael Jordan towards the end of his career, morphed into a fat jump shooter.


Somehow this re-shuffling worked in Orlando's favor because Williams and Carter came to play. And unlike the Hawks, who I'll bet will go down in in 4 or 5 games, The Magic are the only team that can take on either the Celtics or the Cavs. I don't want to see the Cavs in the Finals-nothing against Lebron, I just think they are overrated and will not be strong enough to beat the Lakers, who are getting an armchair ride into the Finals by playing over-matched opponents.

Film Recommendation of the Week...

Across the Bridge
Release date September 6, 1957.
Running time 1 hour 33 minutes.



Carl Schaffner, a German financier with a British passport (brilliantly played by Rod Steiger) is hunted by Scotland Yard for embezzlement. He has it all figured out until his plan unravels. Heading to Mexico from his NYC office by train, he meets a look-a-like whom he drugs, flings out the window and proceeds to assume the mans' identity. Only thing is, the man survives. Also, the man whose identity he steals is even more notorious than he, wanted in Mexico for murder.


Amidst the corruption, double-dealing and conniving by all parties involved, Schaffner, despite his money, contacts, and knowledge of the law winds up alone and disenfranchised except for the dog belonging to the man whose identity he attempted to steal. Finally taking pity on the poor animal (who follows him everywhere) and realizing it's his only friend left in the world, his attachment to the dog is what leads his undoing.

Too many plot twists to mention here (a good enough reason to watch the film) Rod Steiger is absolutely terrific in the role of this amoral snake. Despite all he has done one feels a bit of sympathy for him at the end. A great film, one that is very underrated and should be considered as one of the best of it's time.