Babe of the Week for March 4, 2010 is...

Bree Olson!!!

Since we've been on serious "Sheen" mode lately here on "Busting Chops", I figured it was high time to pay homage as it were to one of Charlie's "Goddesses", adult film actress Bree Olson. What makes her unique is her relationship with Hollywood's most colossal ass clown, who despite the madness remains focused and on-point with his message. How he manages this AND gets in those 5 a.m. workouts is beyond me. Must be all that tiger blood and Adonis DNA.

She was the Penthouse Pet of the Month for March 2008-the same year she won for "Best Anal Scene" at the AVN Awards (when accepting such an accolade, who exactly does one thank?), has been featured on the cover of Hustler Magazine, and has over 170 adult films to her credit. Supposedly, she is first-generation Ukrainian and states that her biggest hero is her grandmother, who was a German concentration camp survivor. Nice way to honor her legacy there, Bree. But your poor grandmother's eternal shame has been Charlie Sheen's gain. And what's more important than that? By the way, if anyone is wondering, The Ukraine has some of the most stunning women I've ever seen-real, authentic blondes, not like this bleached-blonde bimbo with fake tits and even faker teeth. And they're not all whores. So if your looking for a mail-order bride, The Ukraine wouldn't be a bad place to start. That is, if you can find a good one before she gets kidnapped by an international sex trafficking ring, which seems to be one of this beleaguered country's biggest problems.

But hey, who are we to judge? This young lady, whose real name is Rachel Marie Oberlin, wanted to be a porn star from a very young age. I find it admirable whenever the youth of America set their sights on a goal and achieves them. A slacker she is not. Then again, "admirable" and "porn star" don't belong in the same sentence, but I'll save that for another time. The point here is to celebrate this beautiful, tanned, surgically-enhanced girl-next-door bombshell who, if anyone has seen her in action, leaves no doubt as to why Charlie Sheen wants her in his life. Not only is she an incredible performer, she loooks mahvelous, dahling-absolutely mahvelous!!!