Babe of the Week for August 12, 2011 is...

Cat Osterman!!!

Believe me when I say that the best looking young women in the United States play college sports. Not only are many of them beautiful, but they are also smart and athletic. Who in their right mind would waste time chasing some stupid, jive-ass ghetto hoe with the IQ of a paint brush who's been sexually active since the age of 12 when you can go out with a lovely, talented thoroughbred?

Ghetto hoes are all alike. You meet a pretty one and chances are she's wistfully waiting for some thugged-out loser boyfriend to get out of prison so they can resume their going-nowhere-fast relationship. And when he gets out he'll be dripping with all types of venereal diseases and Hepatitis A through Z. Don't believe the lies, either. Every prisoner that does time in a maximum security prison either fucks or gets fucked by other dudes, no exception. And when they get out the first thing they do is give those diseases to their girlfriends, and if you're stupid enough to mess with these types of broads, you'll catch something too. Know what else is funny? I've spoken to a couple of these losers and they've always been puzzled at their boyfriend's sudden predilection for anal sex after spending time in the joint. Gee, I wonder where they could have picked THAT up from?

So why not look somewhere else? Plenty of healthy, farm-fresh young ladies out there who are strong as oxen and live a clean life. Cat Osterman fits the bill. She is a beautiful and accomplished college athlete and stands at a whopping 6' 2". If that's too much woman for you, there are shorter ones out there. But be careful-they're liable to fuck you up if you get out of pocket with that ol' bullshit.

The Houston native broke many college records while playing at the University of Texas girls' softball team as a pitcher from 2002-2006. The most important thing was that she loooked mahvelous doing it, dahling-absolutely mahvelous!!! She helped the USA women's softball team capture gold in 2004 and silver in 2008. If I were to get married, it would be to someone like this. They say everything is bigger in Texas, and that includes beautiful women like Cat Osterman. Yes, indeed.