Kobe Bryant's divorce and the fall of "The Black Mamba"...

*Disclaimer-please be advised that we here at 'Busting Chops" are not casting aspersions on Vanessa Bryant for the hell of it. She is, arguably, one of the hottest broads we've ever seen married to any pro athlete (if you doubt this, please refer to the reality TV series called "Basketball Wives". Nowhere except on the barren sand dunes of the Serengeti will you ever see such a miserable collection of cloven-hoofed Wildebeests in all your life).

The girl is an incredible-looking young lady, and for the life of me I do not understand why she never made it into our "Babe of the Week" series. Maybe it's because she's so abhorrently despicable. Still in all are merely speaking the truth about her situation as we see it.

Kobe's wife Vanessa Bryant is filing divorce papers in L.A. County District Court. Citing the usual bullshit excuse of "irreconcilable differences", she is in the process of backing up the Brink's truck and making out with not only half his net worth and one (at the very least) of his mansions, but is claiming spousal AND child support. Bryant is on the hook to keep her in the elevated lifestyle she's accustomed to until she remarries, which will only happen once Kobe retires and no longer commands a 25-plus million dollar a year NBA contract.

It won't matter by then, because she would have successfully milked every dime she could out of her 10-year marriage to one of basketball's biggest and most relentless pricks. Suddenly, all those millions he's earned over the course of his career don't seem sufficient to placate the bottomless greed of this abominable cunt of a woman. The madness never ends!!!

But this isn't all her doing. Kobe created this monster a looooong time ago. Bryant, who was 20 at the time he married this two-bit video hoochie, thought it was a good idea to estrange himself from his family and marry this little twat while she was still in high school. The relationship caused such a distraction whenever he came to pick her up after school that the administration decided it would be best for her to spend her senior year at home. None of Kobe's family members or teammates were invited to attend the ceremony, and neither did he go to his parents seeking advice about such a life-altering event. He will be regretting this act of hubris very shortly, when the presiding judge rules on the allocation of assets.

He was so in love with this skank that he decided against a pre-nup in a state (California) that is infamous for it's brutal divorce settlements. There is a chance she winds up with more money than he, even though Kobe was the one who earned it all. Not that he'll be in the poor house by any stretch of the imagination (a guy who gets picked up and dropped off from work in a helicopter isn't going to be applying for a Section-8 rent subsidy voucher anytime soon) but he is going to be taken to the cleaners so hard he should hire George Jefferson as his legal counsel.

There have been a myriad of tales depicting Vanessa as an entitled, spoiled brat with delusions of grandeur. But when store clerks in Beverly Hills rant how she is one of the most obnoxious customers they've ever had to deal with in a place that counts snotty, entitled, and insecure celebrities as it's core clientele, these comments really stand out. "Do you know who I am?" she allegedly screamed at one hapless store clerk who happened not to have recognized the then recently wedded wife of Kobe Bryant. How the fuck were they supposed to know who this dumb bitch was? Had she ever done anything to warrant fame besides deepthroating cocks backstage at rap video shoots?

I find it distressing how people who become wealthy and famous-especially ones like Vanessa, who fell into her situation solely on the merits of having fucked someone's brains out-act like such ginormous pricks to anyone they feel are beneath them. Once you hit the lottery in whatever form, whether it's through birth, inheritance, marriage or hard work, aren't you supposed to be happier than the rest of the schlemiels who live from paycheck to paycheck? Do they really have to go around rubbing it in people's faces that they have it better than them in such a graceless fashion?

Here's the thing about money-financial windfalls amongst family members from humble backgrounds usually cause rifts that tear the fabric of said relationships apart. Vanessa's step-father and mother, who were happily married until she married Kobe, divorced over this very reason. Her ex-stepfather was quoted as saying the thing that ruined his marriage was he could not compete with the gifts Kobe and Vanessa were lavishing on his wife, leaving him emasculated and out in the cold. Kobe should have been aware of this, but apparently didn't care. This same disease has infected his current relationship, and here is where he could have used a bit of the fatherly advice he blatantly shunned during his courtship of Vanessa.

Don't get me wrong-I don't feel sorry for Kobe Bryant one bit. He exhibited a narcissistic mean streak that belied his exalted station in life when he raped that female hotel employee in Colorado. That incident wasn't about sex, it was about power, and exerting exerting it over someone he felt entitled to humiliate, not only because of who HE was but because of who SHE wasn't. And damn if the bitch wasn't grateful for having the great Kobe Bryant's dick up her ass. She was a nobody, and he wanted to remind her of it regardless of how googly-eyed she was in his presence. So whatever Vanessa morphed into after their marriage, she learned it from him. And what does it say about their relationship that Kobe had to run out and buy her a $4 million dollar multi-karat ring just to appease her ego after he got hit with rape charges?

Then there was the issue with their Peruvian housekeeper, who dropped her lawsuit alleging abuse at the hands of Vanessa when the matter was settled out of court. Here is a little snippet of one of the allegations made by ex-housekeeper Maria Jimenez-

"Jimenez also alleges that Vanessa Bryant screamed at her for putting a $690 blouse in the washing machine, and demanded that Jimenez put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse. Jimenez refused and said she would quit, but Vanessa Bryant allegedly demanded that she pay for the blouse first, the suit states. Jimenez says she stayed on the job to work off the cost of the blouse."

Ah, the lifestyles of the rich and famous. By the way, here is a video Vanessa appeared in before she struck paydirt, just so you can get a taste of what she was like when Kobe met her. She is the one in the tight, glittery outfit who mouths some of the words Snoop Dogg rhymes while provocatively gesticulating in the Chevy convertible.

Goodnight and good luck, Kobe. No high-priced attorney is going to save you from the rape of your assets you will be subjected to by your former darling sweetheart of an ex-wife. Happy New Year, asshole!!!