NBA Trade Deadline Winners and Losers...

All the hoopla we've been subjected to over the Dwight Howard situation and he decides to stay for at least one more year in Orlando. The Magic are not in a position to improve their roster. They have a bunch of over-the-hill B-list players who are scraping away the remaining years of their careers on a team with a superstar they cannot help win a championship. I would have opted the fuck out and gone this summer as a free agent to New Jersey. At least they have a point guard who can take Howard to the next level, and this is no knock on Jameer Nelson, who's a good player but he's no Deron Williams.

Dwight Howard, proving that there is such a thing as being too cock diesel-

All Howard needs to do now is get rid if that blithering twat of an ex-girlfriend Royce Reed, the one who is on the reality show "Basketball Wives". Just how toxic is this sleazebag? She's so stupid she violated a court order not to talk about him on the show, and was successfully sued by Howard in Florida last year to the tune of $500,000 dollars. And to this date she still hasn't ponied up the loot. And don't get dazzled by her good looks. She's as rotten as a corpse dug out of a mass grave.

PAY UP, BITCH!!!

Wanna get a good laugh? Here is Reed in action. This is one reason why basketball players end up broke after their playing days are over-they marry assholes like this fucking useless whore. At this point you may be asking what this pathetic excuse for a Hunt's Point prostitute did for a living before meeting Howard. She was an Orlando Magic/Miami Heat dancer. Put that on your resumé and see if top Fortune 500 companies aren't knocking your door down clamoring for your services. Just in case you're high or drunk, Reed is the first bitch who appears dressed in black doing those stupid splits. This was a party thrown by Terrel Owens and Ludacris (nothing says classy like these two guys). When I saw the combination of a pool, video cameras and assholes all around, my first thought was Reed was starring in "Seymore Butts' Pool Party Part III". That is probably her next gig when she gets the bum's rush from this terrible reality show.



Deron Williams can opt out of the last year of his contract this summer and become an unrestricted free agent. For all the hype and hoopla Russian billionaire owner Prokhorov blew into town with, he's been able to do absolutely nothing with free agent signings and trades to improve the team. If it wasn't for Williams, a star point guard wasting the best years of his athletic career on a team full of bums, the Nets would be challenging Michael Jordan's abysmal Charlotte Bobcats as the worst team in the league. I hear crickets in that new stadium they're building in Brooklyn already and it's not finished yet. Gerald Wallace would have been a good addition if he were 4-5 years younger. To trade two players AND a potential first-round pick for an aging power forward is just ludicrous, but this is why nobody is going to be watching the Nets either in Jersey, Brooklyn or Moscow.

Dallas chased away four key players from last year's championship team to retool for the inevitable free agent bonanza. Mark Cuban obviously learned nothing from the Lebron James fiasco, and decided to gut the Mavericks to prepare for the arrival of Deron Williams and Dwight Howard. The fan base in Dallas are upset that Cuban decided not to give the team a chance to defend their championship, which they would have had a great opportunity to do seeing as the Western Conference is in such disarray. One lesson he'll learn from this is that you cannot defend a title and rebuild at the same time. You also cannot count on a particular player singing as a free agent just because you have cap space available to give him a max contract. This is why Qwame Brown still has a job in the NBA, because there are just not that many good players to go around.

The most provocative trade was the one that never happened. James Dolan, owner of the Knicks, got his job via nepotism. He is nothing but a crackhead in a $3,000 suit. If he weren't the son of a media mogul, he'd be wearing an orange jumpsuit and picking up litter with a spear on Route 9W in Northern New Jersey. This asshole is so married to Carmelo Anthony that he nixed the idea of trading him for Deron Williams, a great trade that would have benefited all parties concerned.

Williams is the type of point guard they desperately need to maximize the potential of the players currently on the team. That is their missing piece. They can have Baron Davis coming off the bench, which will allow them to send Mike Bibby and Jeremy Lin packing. Williams may even be able to resurrect Amer'e Stoudemire from the dead. Melo would still be in NYC where his no-talent wife can continue to make money as a witless reality tv star, and he'll play for a team that will need him to jack up 45 shots a game just to keep the losing margin in the low double digits every night.

The other trades that went down were of minor consequence-

*Stephen Jackson winds up in San Antonio and Monta Ellis goes to Milwaukee.

*The Lakers rid themselves of Derek Fisher and a first round pick to Houston for Jordan Hill. (Who the fuck is Jordan Hill?) They also rid themselves of perpetual ass clown Luke Walton, the most overpaid D-League loser the NBA has ever seen.

*Portland had a fire sale, getting rid of Gerald Wallace and Marcus Camby, thereby gutting their front line into oblivion. And to think this team was considered a top contender at the beginning of the season. They've also waived (finally) non-productive former number 1 draft bust Greg Oden to make room for the collective clown car of stiffs they've acquired via trades. And they've fired their coach Nate McMillan. Good-bye playoffs, hello lottery.

That's pretty much it. All the fireworks the talking heads over at ESPN expected as the trade deadline approached amounted to nothing but hot air, with blockbuster trades the dream and the movement of mediocrities from one bum-ass team to another the reality. But that's what happens in a 24-hour sports news cycle-if there is nothing happening, just keep talking until something does.