Sunday, April 28, 2019

How to Make a Cycling Comeback Pt. III...

Getting back into the cycling game takes patience, perseverance and a will to control your own destiny. I was in the market for some cycling kit, so after a combination of asking around and doing my own research, I decided on Castelli clothing. They were the company that were going to help me re-establish myself as a premier ham-and-egger/poseur deluxe-I mean, inspire me to ride. 

Castelli has an excellent reputation, second only to Assos in terms of quality but less expensive depending on where you make the purchase. The best prices that I've found were at Merlin Cycles in Great Britain. Added to their already low prices was the exclusion of the VAT (value added tax) that we Americans do not have to pay. That 20% savings, plus free shipping over a certain dollar amount purchased, adds up to more clothing and more savings. For anyone looking for a great deal, you can look these cats up on the internet. 

Here is a list of all the stuff I bought during the winter-

1) Castelli Prologo V short-sleeve jersey (6)

2) Castelli Prologo V long-sleeve jersey (3)

3) Castelli Fondo jersey (1)

4) Castelli Puro jersey (1)

5) Castelli Mortirolo 4 jacket (2)

6) Castelli Endurance X2 bib shorts (2)

7) Castelli Free Aero Race bib shorts (2)

8) Castelli Omloop thermal bibshorts (2)

9) Castelli Thermoflex arm/leg/knee warmers (1 of each)

10) LAS helmet (white)

11) Sidi Genius 7 (white)

Castelli arm, leg, knee warmers and gloves-

Castelli bag and LAS helmet-

Castelli base layers-

Castelli bibshorts-

Sidi Genius 7 Cycling Shoes-

If you're going to get back into the game, do it in style and have your kit organized. No jersey from one company and bib shorts from another. Also, don't let the hoi polloi shame you out of purchasing  high quality clothing from another company-that's right, Rapha. Their videos are corny and sometimes a bore to watch, but again catch them when they put stuff on sale and you'll do alright. Though I must say Castelli has the most comprehensive list of cycling apparel, so there really is no reason to go anywhere else. 

The last part of this series will focus on the completed bike. Stay tuned.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

How to Make a Cycling Comeback Pt.II...

Let's take a look at some gadgets that every 21st. century rider needs to look like a complete poseur-I mean, dedicated cyclist.

First off, a cell phone is crucial to get the various cycling gadgets up and running and coordinated with one another. The Samsung Galaxy J7 Refine is inexpensive and does exactly what I need it to do. 

The Wahoo Elemnt cycling computer and GPS is arguably a better product than anything Garmin has put out, and it communicates well with the Favero Assioma power meter pedals. Then you have the Wahoo Tickrx heart rate monitor that will send the info it collects right to the Wahoo Elemnt so you can monitor yourself as you blow the fuck up and are left for dead by the rest of the riders in your respective group. 

The Wahoo Elemnt quarter turn mount adapter makes the computer/GPS compatible with the Garmin Edge stem mount that goes with the 3T Integra stem. It is necessary to mount the Wahoo on this particular stem, which is what the stem was made for.

Ray Long has published the most comprehensive set of yoga books currently on the market. The drawings are anatomically correct and meticulously done. It is also a step-by-step manual into the ways particular sets of muscles are stretched depending on pose. You're not going to find anything better than this series of books for yoga.

Here are various gadgets to aid in your yoga/stretch/recovery sessions. The black box contains an ice pack from a company that makes excellent products-

This is where we get even more creative. In the photo below we have the Garmin Vivoactive 3 watch, which tells you everything you need to know, and it's great for tracking heart rate and total steps taken during the course of a particular activity or for the whole day. 

Next we have the Perfect Ab Carver Pro which comes with detachable handles, and a portable back massager (the contraption with the blue balls) when your muscles get tight from riding in an aerodynamic position. The rest are various rollers for different parts of the body.

For more intense recovery, you could get the TimTam percussion massager ($199),the Hyperice Hypervolt (($349.99), the RXGun ($399.99) or the Theragun ($600),which is nothing but a Workx  20v jigsaw with 5 attachments. The other three are nothing but bootleg copies of the Workx, which retails for $69.99. You can get the attachments that are pictured on Ebay without having to retrofit any of the parts. Then you have the Ryobi car buffer, which can be used for deep tissue massage. The youtube videos will explain in detail why you should purchase these power tools to aid in recovery-

This video shows the Ryobi car buffer in action. Also shown is a Ryobi jigsaw retrofitted for use as a deep tissue massager.

A better idea is to get the Workx jigsaw and get the attachemnts from Ebay that require absolutely no retrofitting. Just pop the attachment in question in and you're good to go

If all this is not enough, the next two contraptions are for the seriously dedicated/hardcore athlete-

1) Compex Wireless 2.0 Muscle Stimulator Kit w/TENS. This is both a muscle simulator and a  muscle recovery tool. The eight individual pods are wireless, and believe me that makes a huge difference in terms of convenience. It has other features that makes this the best in it's class. Catch it when Compex has them on sale and you will not regret it. 

2) The Air Relax compression system. If you're a cyclist you've seen these before. Or maybe you haven't. There are more expensive brands out there, but this one is the most inexpensive in relation to what you get. For less than a grand, you have the air compression unit, a pair of white foot massagers, right and left leg sleeves that have four chambers from feet to the upper thighs, and shorts that deliver dynamic compression covering the quads, hamstrings, glutes, hip flexors, lower back and abductors. The arm sleeve is self-explanatory. It's for the arms. You only get one because it's not a good idea to do both at the same time, though there will always be some fucking idiot out there who will purposely not follow the instructions and then sue the company if something goes wrong. 

If you're in the market for an air compression system, this one is impossible to beat in terms of both price and quality. Don't think that if you spend more money you'll get a much better product. That is simply not true. You could always pay $3545 for the Normatec Pulse Pro 2.0 if you got it like that, but if you don't the Air Relax system is the move you need to make. 

(I forgot to mention two invaluable peaces of equipment-a good, solid massage table and the Teeter FitSpine Inversion table. Spine decompression relieves back pain, especially for cyclists who spend the majority of their riding time hunched over the handlebars. Photos to follow.)

Part III will feature the type of clothing you'll need to avoid looking like a right wanker. If you are the one constantly getting dropped like an anchor as soon as the road tilts that slightest bit upwards, might as well get dropped in style.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

How To Make a Cycling Comeback Pt I...

This is how you dooz it, boys and girls-

I've been off the bike for quite a number of years and felt the time was right to join the ranks of the deluded pack jelly motherfuckers who think they're Chris Froome just because they can beat you up a hill.. When the weather was nice, I thought of those long mountain passages of the Tour de France and the snow-covered peaks of the Giro D'Italia. Every time the weather was cloudy and cool, I thought of the Ardennes Classics with their short, sharp and steeps climbs. I thought of the racers, who are insanely fit. I thought of the cutting edge equipment they use and how much I enjoyed researching the newest technology. Slowly but surely I began the process of re-joining the peloton. Here is the journey.

The heads of state, 1993 Tour de France-

I decided to purchase another road frame. Realistically I didn't need one. I just I said "Fuck It" and did so. I've found something to like about all of the frame materials (never rode steel), but there were limitations to consider. Today's carbon frames today are cost prohibitive. As for aluminum, I've always been annoyed at how North American frame builders don't bother to sand the welds. Those thick, industrial welds told me that the frame builder either couldn't be bothered or he figured no one cares so why go the extra mile. And they look absolutely hideous.

I have ridden titanium in the past, and felt if I could make a few  changes to the geometry I would be happy. Aesthetically, no one did titanium road frames like Litespeed back in the day. They shaped all the tubes of the frame to the point where it looked like you were riding a rocket ship. Alas, the company split into two different entities (Litespeed and Lynskey) and Litespeed no longer offers custom frames. So I decided on a custom Lynskey R480.

With Lynskey, there were details like tube shaping, bottom bracket size and internal cable routing that were not possible. That was fine with me because those types of changes were superfluous to the quality of the frame. Why would  I go through all this and not get exactly what I want? Well, no other titanium manufacturer come close in terms of quality and price. The bottom line is the price for the Lynskey was absolutely mind-blowing for what I was getting. So the trigger was pulled and the process started.

The infamous 1-2-3 finish of the Gewiss team at La Fleche Wallone, 1994-

As for the geometry, here are the basic specs-

1) 54cm seat tube, 55cm top tube.
2) 72.5 degree seat tube angle, 73 degree head tube angle.
3) 4.3 mm fork rake.
4) Seatstay length 41.5cm.

One can accuse me of being a retro grouch, as I firmly believe that the 1990's was the best time for cycling; both the racing and the technology. I do not like sloping top tubes, off the rack geometry or disc brakes. And the fragility of carbon doesn't interest me. One crack in the wrong place and you have to dismantle the frame, send it somewhere for repair, have it shipped back and build it back up. Not what I want to deal with unless I had another frame ready to go and would not miss any quality riding time. Even then it all sounds like a monumental pain in the ass. I'll do a carbon frame some other time.

I didn't care about the weight of the frame and never asked about it. It certainly wasn't going to compete with carbon, nor was it ever meant to be. I wanted a frame that fit my needs and was impervious to the latest fads; a frame that would not go out of style in three months. I looked into another aluminum frame from Cyfac, but alas communication issues rendered that moot.

The bare frame is pictured below. It is currently at Horse Cycles Paint Shop in Brooklyn, NY and will be back very soon if everything goes as planned. The only items missing is the seat and the handlebars. I took the measurements wrong and was sent a pair that were too big. Funny thing-I went to UPS, as they were the original shipper. The cost was $374 and loads of paperwork that I did not know tI had to fill out. I went to my local USPS and they charged me a little over $38 dollars. It may take a few weeks to get to Italy, but at least I didn't have to pay that much money (relatively speaking) to send it back. 

Here are a few pics of the Lynskey custom frame when it first arrived*-

*click on photos to enlarge

Notice the buttery smoothness of the welds-

This is not the finished product. I am waiting for the painter to do his thing, and then all I need to do is have a mechanic build it up. Next up will be the gadgets one needs to recover after a long, hard ride. 

THE AAU Conundrum...

I've said it a million times-street basketball is dead, and the AAU circuit has effectively killed it. There is no longer room for cats like the recently departed Rodney Parker (of "Heaven is a Playground" fame) to roam the parks of NYC in the summertime, looking for that diamond-in-the-rough kid who, with a bit of polishing and some creative accounting with the high school transcript, can get a scholarship to a junior college in the middle of nowhere and hopefully get some semblance of an education before inevitably failing out and coming back home more of a loser than when he left. 

As it is now, the AAU circuit has undermined the street hustlers and flesh peddlers that thrived in the shadows. That whole world has been replaced by shoe company reps, over-eager parents, and AAU coaches who control access to the kids they wish to make their fame on. The money is huge, and the pressure to get a piece of that cake is an immense incentive to cheat. The fiasco at Louisville and ex-coach Rick Pitino was just one example of the sordidness that accompanies the pressure to secure that one program-changing basketball prodigy. 

The flip side of the Rick Pitino scandal-ridden coin is the despicable Lavar Ball, who has shamelessly pimped his two younger children out of any chance of making the NBA. "I Will Speak It Into Existence" is not a business model in a sport where even one wrong move by the most freakishly talented athletes can relegate them to has-been status faster than you can say Sebastian Telfair. Y'all remember him, don't you? He was the next coming of whomever, and now he is out of the league (having last played in 2015 after getting cut by the OKC Thunder) and is facing MAJOR prison time for being pulled over in Brooklyn by the cops with a carload of what is pictured below, a veritable caché of weapons and ammo. The corner of Atlantic and Classon is NOT where you want to be, especially when you have a carload of THIS-

Full Metal Jackass...

What this guy was thinking of doing with all this hardware I have no idea. Was he planning a school massacre? Was he looking to take on Negan and the Saviors from "The Waling Dead"? It's certainly clear that he and his younger cousin who was busted alongside him were riding hard on the Dylan Klebold tip. Recently his no-talent younger brother Ethan held a press conference that no one attended and announced that he ws forgoing his senior season at Bison Testicles State College to go to the NBA. He then retracted his statement when he realized there was NO interest.

Funny enough, Stephon Marbury has a brother who posted some youtube videos of his training sessions. He's another special-ed jackass thinking he has a shot at the league. He had the audacity to claim that he's better than Steph. After peeping the videos, it's fair to say that you don't have to be a talent scout to realize this guy needs to take a Boar's Head course in deli management and catering, because making sandwiches at some dusty bodega in Coney Island is going to be the height of his career trajectory.

Which begs the question-what the fuck is wrong with these retards? I remember Lincoln High Schools' then-athletic director Renan Ebeid telling the cameras for the reality show "City Hardwood", in reference to Sebastian's younger brother Ethan, that "it's tough being a Telfair, you know, when you come from money..." Money has nothing to do with how these particular people behave. The Telfairs and the Marburys come from a long line of underachieving on the basketball court and overachieving in self-destructive and typical ghetto-ass behavior. The money just made their collective dysfunction that much more glaring.

Here is the problem. The AAU circus has made flesh peddlers and pimps out of motherfuckers that should be coaching basketball at their respective levels. But because of the obscene amounts of money involved, these jackals forcibly become father figures and advisers to players who are easy prey if they come from broken homes where the father is nowhere to be found. They do this with one goal in mind-to get that money from sponsors by recruiting as many blue-chip prospects as possible to their AAU squads and selling them to whatever D-I school will have them.  The competition is fierce, and this shit has trickled down to fucking middle school.

If you've seen some AAU tournaments on youtube, you'll see teams with names like "Future Phenoms" and "New World All-Stars". These teams have travel expenses and tournament fees paid by their sponsors, with the proviso that the spigot will be turned off if they don't win and if they don't feature top D-I potential talent. The games themselves are boring and pathetic, with the top players on each teasm hogging the limelight while everyone else watches. The coaches don't call plays, they just spend the whole game yelling at the refs and cursing at the players, and if the players aren't trying to dunk they are indiscriminately chucking three-pointers.

The players are bombarded with the type of attention usually reserved for professional athletes. It is not uncommon to see pro players in the stands checking out the latest gonna-be all-time great. And with the pros come the paparazzi and the hoochies. If a top-ranked player doesn't have a ready for youtube "mix tape", which consists of humiliating crossover dribbles where their opponent winds up on the floor, dunks, or any other type of flashy play, they are already late to the party. Let's watch former pro player Jason "White Chocolate" Williams' 10 year old son in a game with other kids his age while grown adults record the antics on their cellphones and ask for his autograph after the game. Real healthy for the kids' self-esteem.

People have a way of ruining EVERYTHING, and if this year's NCAA tournament is any indication, is that beneath all the flash of the AAU circuit, the product coming out the other end is absolute garbage. And young black males are getting fucked over. What happens when you don't make it and have to go out into the real world and find meaningful employment? They cannot go back for help from the assholes who exploited them, because they don't want to be associated with cats who didn't make it. They only find out their degrees (if they manage to graduate) are worth nothing when they are asked to fill out an employment application and the only thing they can put down that they did was play basketball.

Young black males are getting screwed over by a system where everyone gets paid except for the athletes. No one ever went to a basketball game to watch the coach, though I would say there was an exception made for Bobby Knight. He was definitely box office, but for all the wrong reasons.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Film Recommendation of the Week...

Night of the Living Dead (Criterion Collection)
Release Date-February 13, 2018.
Running Time-One Hour and Thirty-Six Minutes.

Glad to be back, boys and girls. Despite the fact that 2017 was a terrible year for film and television, we're hitting the ground running with some excellent recommendations for all you film buffs.  

Having been disappointed with the trajectory of both Walking Dead series (yet another letdown for the zombie genre), it is with great pleasure that I announce the release of the granddaddy of them all, "Night of the Living Dead". George A. Romero's 1968 psychotic masterpiece of paranoia, claustrophobia, and flesh-eating ghouls has gotten the restoration treatment it deserves from our good friends at Criterion. Romero played an active role in the restoration, and attended a screening of the finished product at NYC's Museum of Modern Art before he unfortunately passed away July of this year. 

This version is a new 4K digital restoration that is sure to blow away all other public domain releases. Criterion doesn't mess around when it comes to stuff like this, so rest assured the blu-ray edition will be THEE version to have in one's collection. Included are all manner of special features, but those were included for people who really want to dig in to the history of how the film was made.  It's importance and pop culture relevance cannot be understated, even as we collectively cringe as AMC mangles the genre into the stratosphere of sheer stupidity and ultimate irrelevance. Romero himself was quoted as saying "The Walking Dead" series is nothing but a soap opera with a few zombies kicked in, and he was right.

The new release won't be available for the next few months, but this will give some of you time to replenish some of the classic horror films that have been revamped for blu-ray release. They will definitely be worth purchasing. We will feature some of these titles later in the week. Now may also be the time to upgrade your flatscreen tv and DVD player, especially if you're one of those people who shopped for these items while sumo wrestling with illegal day laborers and overweight trailer park trash housewives at one of those Black Friday loser-thon sales events.  Here at "Busting Chops", we offer readers the opportunity to upgrade with dignity. If you have no idea where to begin, do your research. Salespeople are absolutely clueless about audio/video equipment, especially the higher-end stuff, which is NOT sold at Walmart or Best Buy. Take your time and spend the money-it will be well worth it. Watching movies and listening to music should be an experience, not an excuse to tune out your ADD-afflicted crackhead children or for ignoring your overweight, battleaxe wife.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Bad to the Bone...

After the second presidential debate (if you can call how the candidates went at each other presidential), a new star arose onto the political horizon-All-American undecided voter Kevin Bone. Watching his porcine neckline struggle to contain itself in that ridiculous sweater (where the fuck did he get that cherry red monstrosity? And here I was thinking that Alexander's Department store closed in 1992. Is their surplus stock still circulating?) His Humpty Dumptian visage and porno moniker was plastered all over the news the very next day, having emerged as some kind of hero because he actually asked a question that was pertinent to the future of this beleaguered country. 

The media are idiots, and they think the average viewer is too stupid to delve any further into any particular subject long enough for the development of nuanced thought. This is why we've been presented with this lardass, and it's why he's become a national folk hero-because he is indistinguishable from the so-called "average" American that politicians love pandering to. If you want to check these so-called average American motherfuckers out, you must go to their natural habitat. Take a bus or fly to Ohio, Wisconsin, or Iowa and stroll through a neighborhood mall on any given weekend. You will see these Kevin Bone-types with their grotesque, morbidly obese, pasty white, and equally sartorially challenged offspring looking for the two-for-one special at Arby's. They are also at the local supermarket, with their carts full of Cheez Wiz and Spam. It's enough to give you rectal spasms. These are the so-called "real" Americans that so desperately want to make America great again, and Kevin Bone is leading the charge. 

Media darling Ken Bone making the rounds-

Man of the fucking people-

He's Everyfuckingwhere!!!

But like every fairy tale, reality is a bit more challenging to countenance, especially when it's staring at you in the mirror. It seems as if this lovable, inflatable media darling has some character flaws. Or, as we here at "Busting Chops" like to put it, the Ken Bone is apparently connected to the ass bone. He's made some totally ignorant remarks about the Trayvon Martin shooting, claiming that the shooting was justified. and made some remarks in the chat forum of a porn site featuring pregnant women having sex. Apparently he finds this particularly repulsive niche of the adult entertainment industry titillating, like any normal, well-adjusted American would (NOT). He also admitted to insurance fraud, a federal crime. This is the problem with making douchebags like Kevin Bone into heroes. They will always let you down. At least we can buy a t-shirt, just to show our friends we belong in "The Bone Zone"...Somewhere Ron Jeremy is kicking himself for not coming up with this marketing idea first. 

Having forever been typecast, he can't even appear on television anywhere without having to wear that repulsive red sweater. I can see him now on the beach in Rio de Janeiro rockin' a pair of Speedos and a red sweater vest. Now that would be a fucking sight. There are now Halloween costumes paying homage to "Don Jueso", and one of the Jonas brothers (the gay one...hold it. Aren't they all gay?) wants to shag his fat, hairy ass. To quote detective Bunk from "The Wire", this whole thing"makes me sick how far we done fell".  But we have further to fall, because on November 28th (according to Trump, who can't even get the day we vote for president correct) we get to elect one of the worst of two evil lessers to this land's highest office. How exciting. 

In this corner, we have a careerist, polyester pant-suited political hack who, along with her husband, has one of the most despicable records of fucking shit up for poor people of color not only in the US but in places like Haiti, where his so-called foundation is nothing but a supply-side economic stimulus package for their political cronies. The list of grievances are too long to list, but it continued with Hillary as Secretary of State. This adult diaper-wearing asshole and her serial rapist husband have managed to enrich themselves through their political connections to the point where they could offer their own daughter a fucking $900,000 a year PART TIME JOB with their own foundation.

And in the next corner, we have an out-of-touch, elitist, misogynistic neanderthal orangutan who's managed to fail upwards for almost all his life and now campaigns as a man of the people. His belligerent, racist, sexist rants against the country that made it possible for him to succeed despite being a pea-brained, propped up, entitled jackass whose only talent is telling everyone how great he is, has resonated with the American people. These are our two choices.

Thank goodness we have Kevin Bone to cut through the clutter. Get your t-shirt and go out and vote. It'll make little to no difference in the long run due to the quality of both candidates, but if Trump wins you can at least say you did something top try and stop him. Then again, if elected he did promise that Blacks and Latinos will have "the time of their lives". That's something, at least. My peeps can look forward to getting deported to the sounds of salsa, merengue, and bachata blaring from the sound system of a defunct Trump Airlines plane, which he will lease to the federal government for dollars on the penny just so they can get rid of us and he can make a profit. 

Let Freedom Ring!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

NBA News and Notes...

The 2016-17 NBA season is upon us, and we will be subjected to more bad basketball. The reasons are twofold-the new money injected into the league from tv contracts, and all the free agency moves that have decimated the continuity of certain teams in question. 

The influx of money from the upcoming television contracts have caused a rise in the salary cap. The way it works is that there's not only a ceiling, but a floor, so a team can actually face monetary penalties for NOT spending a minimum amount of money allotted to them. This means plenty of terrible contracts paid out to marginal players. Granted, this is all relative. As Jalen Rose continues to repeat, a player is only worth what he's able to negotiate. That is patently not true, because no one in their right mind will tell you that Matthew Dellavedova is worth a 4 year, $38 million dollar contract. As good a player as Al Horford is, he's never distinguished himself as a game-changing type of talent that is remotely worth 4 years at $113 million dollars. That's more than $28 million dollars a year for a player that, at the age of 30, has stopped improving a long time ago. How is all this fiscal madness going to affect play on the court?

We're seeing it already, and it doesn't look good. The LA Clippers haven't made any major moves because of their already high-priced roster, but last year they signed DeAndre Jordan to four years and a little over $87 million. What did the Clips get in return? The same player they had last year, and the year before. And that's the problem. He is limited offensively, is a liability on the free throw line, and can't defend anyone if they run the type of offense that Golden State does, with multiple undersized shooters passing the ball until the open man finds another open man. Neither he nor Blake Griffin can guard Kevin Durant, who at 6 feet 13 inches is the most versatile shooter/scorer this side of Wyatt Earp. The evidence of this was obvious during a preseason game in which the Warriors outscored the Clippers, who are supposed to be their rivals in the Western Conference, by 50 fucking points. FIFTY. This cannot be shrugged off as a "bad night". A bad night is someone taking Viagra and going home by themselves after spending $200 dollars on drinks on a whore who will fuck everyone in the neighborhood except for you. This was a statement, that the Clippers don't even belong on the same floor as Golden State. And barring injury to any of their key players, the Warriors are going to make mincemeat of the rest of the league. It's not even going to be entertaining.

As for the Knicks, there is nothing quite as nostalgic as an creaky, old buzzard whose time has come and gone telling the world his fucking triangle offense can work with the bums he's collected. Jaochim Noah, a terribly unathletic, spastic overachiever with absolutely no offensive game whatsoever (whose had the cartilage in his knees ground into dust by Tom Thibadeau in Chicago) teams up with Derrick Rose, a guy with even worse knees who happens to currently be on trial for taking part in some disgusting, ritualistic drug-and-gang-rape scenario that seems as egregious as it was unnecessary. What's the point of fame and wealth if you have to resort to drugging and raping women to get your rocks off? Good thing for him it's a civil suit, so he won't face jail time. He'll still be able to play until his next knee injury, which will come the second Stephan Curry comes to town and shakes him out of his sneakers. Kristaps Porzingis is waiting until his contract is up to head somewhere that has a management and ownership dedicated to winning, because New York ain't it. Phil Jackson has stated that the Knicks will only run the triangle in certain half court situations because today's players don't have the skills to run it, despite the fact that today's players are more athletic than ever. Maybe it's the coaching, Phil. Maybe it's the fact that his vaunted triangle is best left in the era in which it thrived. Maybe it's time he retires and leaves the game he no longer understands.

This same is true for the Los Angeles Lakers. The game has passed them by, and in today's globalized economy, where you can watch your favorite team from your cellphone, it's no longer a prerequisite for star players to play in big market cities. It never was. When you see how many great players played in places like Salt Lake City (Stockton and Malone thrived for years there and never complained) and Oklahoma City (Durant and Westbrook) you realize that players don't need to be in big markets to become globally recognizable. The lure of being in the media capitals of the world is no longer a selling point, more so for New York because of high taxes, unbearable management, and an unforgiving media spotlight that will look to tear a player down as quick as they build them up.

New York City hoops has been overrated for years. The street basketball used to be about ball players looking for the best competition. Now it's about brain-dead, arrogant assholes looking to do stupid tricks, over-dribbling, and just making a mockery of the game. That's why so many street ballers never leave their neighborhoods. So many of them let the little bit of reputation they develop go completely to their heads that they never develop their skills to get a college degree. And you can't tell these motherfuckers shit. They know it all. Far too many that do get a D-I scholarship wind up coming back home after one or two years with nothing to show for it. Some don't even last their first semester and are back home in the projects eating one of those Thanksgiving Day turkeys given out by local charities that taste like buzzard. The same goes for the Knicks. It's been almost 50 fucking years since they last won a championship, and it looks like another fifty will pass because this franchise is absolutely clueless and will continue to suck as long as James Dolan is the owner.

But neither Dolan nor the Buss family in LA will sell their teams. There's too much money at stake, and people will watch these losers even when they suck. And only in America can a marginal player hanging on to his position by the thinnest of threads get his own sneaker deal. Swaggy P has lost his woman, his playing time, and cannot be counted on to be a mentor for younger players because he's too irresponsible and immature. He can only be considered an elder statesman in an insane asylum, and that's what the Lakers are right now. And speaking of marginal players, J.R. Smith is still holding out for more cash. WTF is this world coming to. Here's another player who's lost most of his explosive athleticism, and can be counted on to shoot 3-19 more often than not, especially when you need him most. He's so fucking clueless that he showed up to almost every post-Cavaliers function without a shirt. I cannot tell you how fucking ghetto and low class that is, especially with all those disgusting tattoos he's got. 

So what will we get as basketball fans with all the bloated contracts, watered-down teams, and entitled nobodies earning big bucks? We will get THIS. Enjoy the season!!!