Friday, February 25, 2011

Front-Runner for Sports Asshole of the Year...

It didn't take long with this one. I thought I'd had to wait at least until the end of March Madness, what with the NFL letting us down at the Superbowl. Not one player was caught unconscious with his head on a mountain of cocaine surrounded by hookers all running around the hotel suite looking for their panties and stiletto heels while discretely giving interviews to

It will be hard for anyone to take the award away from this asshole, a college basketball coach at Holy Family University named John O’Connor, a bullshit Division-II school in Philadelphia I've never heard of in my life. And here I was thinking Philly was the city of Brotherly Love-

The incident is a typical run-of-the-mill rageaholic coaches-gone-wild type of deal. After his team got their asses kicked the night before, the coach decided to add a little spice to next day's practice with some extra discipline he wanted to instill in his young and impressionable players. How does he do this? How else? By snatching the ball from an unsuspecting player while his back was turned, throwing him onto the floor, kicking him, and then yelling at him to get the fuck up.

What's wrong with that, you ask? Isn't this how all asshole coaches behave after a humiliating loss? Well, basketball practices aren't supposed to be dress rehearsals for the basic training scene in "Full Metal Jacket". Also, coaches are not supposed to put their hands on their players, no matter how doofy and inept the player in question may be. That's not their fault, and if you recruited them don't get mad because they can't play ball up to our expectations. Blame yourself for being a bullshit coach at a bullshit school who has no choice but to recruit bullshit players because all the good ones would never give you the time of day. Division-II schools get the scraps in terms of local and national high school talent. That's the reality, and everyone knows it.

The other galling thing is that this school is a Catholic school. What the fuck is the athletic director doing not punishing this coach swiftly and severely? The player in question, a 6'5" sophomore named Matt Kravchuk, contacted the Athletic Director immediately after the practice was over but she did absolutely nothing until Kravchuk filed a police report. Then and only then was the coach suspended pending a further investigation.

Now the school has two problems-the ensuing public relations nightmare stemming from their initial mishandling of this case and now a potential civil lawsuit from the player's family. Way to go, Holy Family University. Way to get ahead of this one.

Here is a video of the incident (which of course was taped!!!) and the the coach and player in question, appearing on some stupid-ass TV show-

Someone had the audacity to say the video portion of the incident was "taken out of context". What a laugh. But worse than that are the excuses used by soon-to-be ex-coach O'Connor, moaning how he can't believe this incident "happened to him", obnoxiously refusing to own up to the fact that he was the instigator of this whole mess. The student-athlete in question, meanwhile, had every right to haul off and crack his skull in self-defense but did not. The assaulted athlete showed more restraint than his coach did, yet the coach is still officially a staff member of the athletic department and Kravchuk is out. How's that for irony?

This should be a lesson to all asshole coaches out there. You are not so great at your job that you cannot be replaced, this guy especially. There are still coaches out there who because they win are given carte blanche to be monumental pricks (Mike Krzyzewski of Duke University is a prime example of this. If someone ever decides to write a tell-all book on this motherfucker, exposing just what an abusive, unhinged lunatic he is towards his players I'll pay full retail for the hardcover version) but even if you win you can go too far. And in these technologically advanced days we live in, you have no idea who is taping your rants and assaults for posterity.

Coach Frank Martin of Kansas State University-you are next. Anyone who has seen this maniac in action on the sidelines can testify to his antics, both towards his players AND the referees. If I were him I'd go see a doctor about this rage issue and take double the recommended dose of whatever medication the shrink prescribes.Coach Martin-keep fucking around the way you do and it's going to cost you your job, just like it's going to cost this dickhead O'Connor HIS job when the investigation is concluded.

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