Friday, September 4, 2015

The World's Most Expensive Adult Film...

We are back with the ubiquitous Fifty Cent (aka "Fitty"), who counts himself nearly penniless these days due to an financially lascivious lifestyle that he claims was an exaggeration for the sake of selling albums and generating social media buzz for his music label. He's in the process of filing for bankruptcy just so he can get out of paying a settlement to one Lastonia Leviston, the baby mama of Miami rapper Rick Ross. How'd the involved parties get to this point? Fitty made a sex tape with this woman and then released it to the public. He did this to shame Rick Ross, the fat, serial blunt-smoking, grossly-tattooed entertainer who claims a life of crime before the rap game when in reality he had the un-gangsterish job as a guard at a correctional facility. The release of this tape was the result of one of those tired rap beefs that flare up whenever one or both parties are looking for even more publicity, but this one went a bit too far in the direction of stupid for our resident hardcore rapper from Queens, New York.

                          You mean this ain't real?

Fitty lost on two counts-the initial award was for $5 million, with another one tacked on for another $2 milion in punative damages. I can see this being applicable, because poor Ms. Leviston has a reputation to uphold when she goes to the corner bodega to purchase menthol cigarettes and a six-pack of Coor's Light with her EBT card. We can't have the guys at the loosey spot thinking she's a whore now, can we? The video was posted in 2009, and Fitty released it when his beef with Ross was heating up. Apparently he was saving it just for a moment like this, and it backfired tremendously on him. But that how idiots behave when they have a milion dollars and no sense.

                          Rick Ross, having the last laugh...

Two issues played against the defendant. One, the trial was held in NYC, a city that has a reputation for handing out large settlements in civil cases, especially in the outer boroughs of the Bronx, Brooklyn, and Queens. Two, Fifty Cent isn't exactly a hero to working class people or women. The manner in which he flaunts his wealth and his use of grotesque images of misogeny and violence to sell his warped ideal of the American Dream does not resonate with the average working class juror.

Let's get one thing straight-this Levinston twat is an absolute money-grubbing swine. She got with Rick Ross and had a child with him, and sued him for child support to support her ghetto bling-bling fantasies. She then got with Fitty as a revenge fuck against Ross and happily filmed an abhorrent sex tape where it is clear she was down with the program. She exibited the enthusiasm of an overweight suburban fuckface loser heading into a Subway sandwich shop to choke on a foot-long in the hopes  that he'll lose weight just like Jared.

Levinston outside the courthouse kissing and hugging the jurors who just made her rich- -

We here at "Busting Chops" pride ourselves on the integrity of our research, so for the sake of authenticity we sat down and watched the 13-minute video in question. It's absolutely vile. The beginning of the video shows Fitty in a costume trying out some half-baked comedy act. We don't remember his schtick because it wasn't funny. Then we see the offended party kneeling down and talking into the camera, making smiley faces and spreading her legs in gleeful joy. Nowhere in the hisotry of amateur adult cinema have I seen a whore so exstatic to express herself than on this video. She clearly knew she was being filmed and was happy to take part. The sex act itself has shitty production values, is badly choreographed, and shows Fitty looking like a bloated ex-athlete who had come down from a steroid cycle. Ms. Leviston is an absolute clydesdale, and I have no idea why a guy who has access to the most beautiful whores and hoochies this side of Hugh Hefner would stoop to having sex with this Malasian Hairy Backed Boar.

Levinson wanted revenge against her baby's father, and Fitty wanted to "stick it to him', as it were. It backfired for Fitty but morphed into a financial bonanza for the aggrieved party. The victim in all this is the child Ross had with this bitch. For the rest of her life she'll be inundated with taunts that her mother is a money-grubbing whore, and they would be correct in their ASS-essment. The poor child is going to suffer massive psychological trauma because of her mother, who doesn't care because that's how whores roll. But it's the financials that are of more interest, because Fifty Cent is crying that he's penniless for the purpose of not paying the judgements against him. He is also on the hook for $18 million to a headphone company when the deal fell through.

Meanwhile, all he did was brag about his $100 million dollar buy-out of his shares of the Vitamin Water company, and had purchased Mike Tyson's old pimp mansion back when Iron Mike was getting played like a lute by the queen of all pop culture gold digging tramps, Robin Givens. When asked in Federal court about his earnings selling warmed-over, bullshit, played-out gangster rap to idiotic suburban youth and even more stupid urban youth who consider this dickhead a hero, he stated he only made 10 cents an album. That doesn't like a deal a smart businessman would make, and it probably isn't true. But he surely had no problems flaunting his wealth on videos and on every single red carpet to every single moronic, meaningless awards show in Hollywood, so now he's going to be made accountable for every dime because eventually, he's going to have to pay these settlements, even if it's 50 cents at a time. And it couldn't have happened to bigger asshole.

                                Monopoly money, baby-

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