Friday, January 8, 2010

Welcome 2010!!! Pt.2...

Chris Henry

There will be no R.I.P. for this idiot. At 6'4" and 200 pounds of solid muscle and pure speed, he had what few are born with-the freakish athletic ability to play pro football inn the NFL. And just what did he do with his talent?

He got arrested so many times that commissioner Roger Goodell suspended him for the first eight games of the 2007 season for violation of the NFL's personal conduct policy. In other words, it is written in the contract of every NFL player that they cannot go out and act the fool while being employed by the league in any capacity.

And it was stupid shit he kept getting pinched for. The second to last incident involved Henry punching an 18 year-old in the face, throwing a bottle and smashing the guy's car window. All over an unpaid debt. As an NFL player, exactly what the fuck are you doing out in the street lending teenagers money?

But it was the LAST incident which became, well, his last. As befitting a dysfunctional, jive-ass motherfucker blessed with physical talent and absolutely no sense, Henry expired from wounds suffered while dry surfing on the back of a pickup truck driven by the biggest ghetto-ass hoochie this side of...(insert your favorite ghetto HERE).

Here is the interview-

A question for you, darling-
If you love your man so "hard" as they say in the 'hood, why put his life in such jeopardy? You have any idea how difficult it is to find a professional athlete to fall in love with a country-ass ghetto hedgehog such as yourself?

So now the cash register has closed for her. The story goes that they were having an argument and she sped off, knocking him off balance and he went sprawling off the back of the truck. He died from severe head injuries, which is consistent with the accident report. I imagine his head must have hit the pavement more times than a bowling ball hurled into the gutter by Fred Flintstone.

Now just what the fuck he was doing on the back of a pickup truck is beyond me. What she was doing speeding off knowing he was back there standing is again another mystery worthy of the good Sherlock Holmes. However it happened, it cements the theory that too many pro athletes are blessed with physical gifts they are clearly unworthy of possessing. If he left behind any children, they unfortunately will pay the price for his stupidity.

Jim Leavitt-Rat on a Hot Tin Roof

Another asshole coach getting nailed for abusing his players. Does this guy not have ESPN? Does he not understand that the collective tide is turning on the whole football coach-as-tyrant thing? Yes, some of these young men need a bit more, um, "mentoring" than others. What do you expect? Some of these football players would not even be attending college if it wasn't for football. Some are idiots, some have lower IQ's than others, and still others are just straight-up dickheads. "Tough love" is definitely required with some of these head cases.

But the whole college football environment is not really conducive to tolerance and accountability. It's a violent sport with type-A personality-having, frustrated ex-jocks coaching hyper-aggressive young men in their physical primes. There are bound to be problems on every campus with a major D-I football program. So my contention is the only time problems are made public is when things are really and truly out of hand.

Not only did he choke a player and punch him in the face TWICE, he went around trying to convince anyone who could have ratted him out to change their stories. He took a school, the University of South Florida, that never had a football team when his tenure began and did some solid work given the circumstances. But he didn't win ENOUGH to keep his job after the shit he pulled. He knew it, and with his career record of 17-18 in the Big East Conference, the whole world know it. He of course is denying the incident, another sign that the prototypical asshole football coach cannot and will not change his stripes regardless of what's at stake. A little contrition, a few well-placed apologies could of served him well. But we will never know the answer to that. This type of man shows remorse about as often as a middle eastern terrorist changes the towel on his head.

So it's good riddance to the rat-faced coach. He, along with Mark Mangino and Mike Leach will land on their feet at another program. It all depends on how well they sell themselves, and how desperate a sagging program is to sell it's soul to bring athletic success to it's football program.

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