Friday, November 20, 2009

Babe of the Week for October 20, 2009 is...

SADE!!!


Not only is this woman absolutely beautiful, talented and charming, she's also put out some amazing albums over the course of her career. Very few artists this famous have been able to keep a cap on their private lives, and she has had very little to do with the obnoxious paparazzi and public scandals. Good for her. Sade epitomizes and oozes class. There will never be another female artist like her.










































And unlike Jennifer Lopez, she doesn't have to front like she's from somewhere she's not just for the sake of some cynical marketing ploy that an artist with no talent has to resort to when their biggest asset is their FAT PUERTO-RICAN ASS. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, listen to the song "Jenny form the Block". Castle Hill (where she grew up in a private house-not a tenement building-in a middle-class environment with two responsible, working parents in a stable, loving home) is NOT the South Bronx, where family dysfunction, crime and poverty have gotten the better of much smarter and more talented people than her. If she had lived on Cypress Avenue and 138th Street, that would be a different story. But Cypress Avenue and Castle Hill are as different from each other as The Upper East Side is to Somalia.

And I doubt "J-Lo" has ever had a Cheeseburger Deluxe at Crown Donuts over on 161st. Street and Walton Avenue. But as good as one of those sounds right about now, I'd trade it in any day for THIS type of deluxe...


Listening to any of her albums really is a pleasure, but "Love Deluxe" is definitely one of my all-time favorites. So here's to you, Sade-not only are you an amazing woman, but you loook mahvelous, dahling-ABSOLUTELY MAHVELOUS!!!



Check out her concert video-she and her incredible band are the real deal playing live!!!

Chill Out, Fat Boy!!! Damn!!!

-

University of Kansas coach Mark Mangino is having problems, and we all know that when things go bad at a Division 1 college program, the dirty laundry has a tendency of being exposed by disgruntled ex-players. Mangino is in the hot seat right now, and as you can see in the picture below it's not big enough for his fat ass-


It turns out his worst mistake is fielding a team that cannot compete with the success of the basketball program at Kansas. They can't even come close, and never have. There have been substantiated reports that the two squads frequently square off on campus and duke it out over this very issue at parties. But boys will be boys, and if you've ever passed by a schoolyard during recess, you will see the same sight during recess-the girls are playing, and the boys are fighting. That's just how it is. But some of the comments accredited to Mangino are clearly over the top, and illustrate that even dickhead football coaches can cross the line.

First of all, let's acknowledge the basic, fundamental fact that MOST IF NOT ALL football coaches are dicks. I had the pleasure of playing for some extremely good coaches who treated their players well. I was also able to see first-hand how coaches from opposing teams behaved, and this is going back to 7th grade. Most are assholes. This should not surprise anyone. This group of guys are a strange bunch and are not the type of people you would want your kids around otherwise. They make up a retarded, angry sub-group-a bunch of frustrated jocks who fell short talent-wise at the sports they themselves were obsessed with as players and now coach because they can't give it up. They love the sport, they just can't stand the motherfuckers they have to recruit to succeed-i.e. black players from the inner city.

This is the cultural dichotomy they must wrestle with on a daily basis, and in this instance Mangino falls woefully short. For most Division-1 coaches these stories go untold and are not made public, but in Mangino's case the cat has been let out of the bag. Here are a couple of gems from the ESPN.com article recently written by sportswriter Joe Schad-

Former Kansas wide receiver Raymond Brown, a senior last season, said Mangino would often "say personal, hurtful, embarrassing things in front of people." Brown cited two examples. He said that once, his younger brother had been shot in the arm in St. Louis. Then came a game.

"I dropped a pass and [Mangino] was mad," Brown said. "And I said, 'Yes, sir. Yes, sir.' The yelling didn't bother me. But then he said, 'Shut up!' He said, 'If you don't shut up, I'm going to send you back to St. Louis so you can get shot with your homies.' I was irate. I wanted to hurt him, to be honest with you."

Brown said another teammate had confided in the team that his father was an alcoholic and the player dreamed of becoming a lawyer.

"One day, [Mangino] said in front of the entire team, 'Are you going to be a lawyer or do you want to become an alcoholic like your dad?' " Brown said.

Said former Kansas wide receiver Marcus Herford, also a senior last season: "I remember that. Very vividly. [Mangino] would take your personal business and he would attack you with it. There's nothing wrong with being a disciplinarian. But there is a way to handle your players and keep them motivated. His way was to demotivate you and make you feel as low as you can go."



Herford said he was not surprised by the allegation Mangino had poked senior linebacker Arist Wright in the chest at a walk-through prior to the Oct. 17 Colorado game.

"I remember one time he grabbed [former offensive lineman] Anthony Collins and Anthony threw his arm down," Herford said. "I mean, to put your hands on another man? There is no reason to ever do that. And Anthony was very angry. Mangino was screaming. And Anthony was like, 'You're not going to do me like that.' "

Said Brown: "I don't know if poking and grabbing is physical abuse. Sometimes Mangino maybe goes over the edge. I have seen him run up to a player and push a player. Sometimes he gets in your face and you feel like, 'OK, now you're in my bubble.'"


Former Kansas linebacker Joe Mortensen, who was a captain on last year's team, said "[Mangino] was ruthless, to be honest with you."

"What goes around, comes around," Mortensen said. "We were afraid if we said something he would hurt us with the [pro] scouts. But these incidents were day after day after day for years. And now it's finally coming out."

Mortensen said Mangino told him he had been a bad friend to someone who had died. And that Mangino would repeatedly bring up his public intoxication citation.

"He told me he'd send me back to Oakland where I could be drinking out of a brown paper bag," Mortensen said. "He told me, 'You were a s---- friend to someone I knew that passed away.' He called me a bum. He showed me no respect. He told me he'd send me back to the ghetto. I'm not a victim. I'm a grown man. I never let Mangino get to me. But you know what? I'm not bitter. I loved KU and I never let him break me.

Nice, huh? Here are a few more gems from this fat bastard-

"He'd say things like, 'I'll send you back to the street corner where you came from,' " Herford said.

"He'd say, 'This is Kansas, you're not back home,' " Crawford said. "He'd say, 'You're not back with your homies. If you're not careful you'll be watching the game in the stands with your homies. You'll be back in that neighborhood.'

When I first read this article my first thought was, "What happened, coach? I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly?" His punishment should not only be the loss of his job. In lieu of the cultural sensitivity training he sorely lacks, he should be made to play Santa Claus and have to rotate around to various crack houses in the very neighborhoods he goes to recruit players. He'll have to make changes to his costume, of course-a red doo-rag instead of the regular Santa hat, gold front tooth veneers and best of all, he'll have to wear his Santa pants so that his underwear is showing in the back.

Because really, what self-respecting ghetto thug would not want to take their picture sitting on Santa's lap for the Holidays? Especially when they might get recruited to play football? Instead of posing in front of a Christmas tree Mangino should be be forced to hold a pit bull on a chain in one hand and a cold 40-ounce bottle of Colt .45 in the other. How's that for cultural sensitivity training, ay Mangino, you fat fuck?. The problem is, he's so bloated that during any potential drive-by shooting he'll still get shot because if he falls to the floor his ass will stick out far enough to catch a bullet, even if he dives in front of a Mr. Softee truck for cover.

Having known the types of men who take on coaching as a profession, I can safely say some of these coaches are unwilling and unable to cross the cultural divide between their redneck, trailer park mentality and the inner-city youth they are in charge of teaching football and life lessons to. Mangino should get fired not because he's a despicable fat bastard, but because he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the young men he coaches. He's a horrendous role model, and you can't teach anyone anything if everyone knows you're a fucking dick.

And the Orange is saying-"Diantre!!! Mira pa' ya!!! Un gordito mas gordo que yo!!!"

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Film Recommendation of the Week...


Paranormal Activity

Release date October 16, 2009.
Running time 1 hour 26 minutes.



A couple of weeks ago I recommended what I thought was a great film for Halloween. Unfortunately, REC 2 has not, and probably will not, be released in the US. If it wasn't for the internet I would not have seen it, and it really is a great film to scare your girlfriend on a romantic date. But this one IS out in theatres as we speak, and I can say with a straight face it is worthy of the hype it's received.

Unlike the "Blair Witch Project" which it is often compared to, this film actually IS SCARY. It does not rely on the audience having to imagine anything, even though the special effects are primitive. In fact, this very aspect is what makes it so effective. To give you a brief synopsis, the female lead is being followed by a demon. We know this because there has been a history of these types of occurrences in her life. How the correlation is made in the movie is one of the most original pieces of storytelling I've seen in the creatively bankrupt world of Hollywood fright movies (You can stick SAW 6, 7, 8 all the way up to 15 right up your ass).

The film has two different endings. I have no idea if both are offered when you go to the theatre to see it. Both are good, but the original to me is better. Either one will not disappoint, though I must say the 2009 ending has definitely stolen elements from REC part 1. That's too bad, as this is as original a movie as I've seen in this genre. And of course, it's an independent film. Unfortunately, Hollywood is going for (you guessed it) a fucking part 2. In fact, the reason the original ending was changed was to offer a segué into a part 2.

I say leave it as it is. It stands on it's own two feet as a great horror movie. Why ruin it with an unimaginative, cookie-cutter sequel that will underwhelm, underperform and ruin the legacy of the original? Why? Because that's what the corporate whores of Hollywood get paid to do for a living, that's why. Here's the unfortunate press release-

On October 25, 2009, Paramount Pictures announced plans for a sequel. Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman told on November 3, 2009-

The movie has been one of those surprise hits that comes along only rarely. Given that a follow-up release wouldn't have the same element of surprise as "Paranormal," it will be key to craft a smart approach to a sequel, he said.

This is my favorite part of the press release-

"Our team will come up with the right creative and marketing approach," he told analysts.

No they won't. Anyoen remember "Blair Witch 2"? Absolutely horrendous. But before this one gets turned into another Hollywood fast-food franchise, let's enjoy a great film. Go see it. You will not be disappointed.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Babe of the Week for November 13, 2009 is...


Sarah Silverman!!!


Yes, the hottest, funniest young woman Jimmy Kimmel will EVER date, even if he lives as long as one of those old guys from The Bible. They were allowed to have a hundred or so wives, but I'll trade in all those dusty Old Testament hoes for this hottie right here. Word up.


She has her own show on HBO (The Sarah Silverman Show), does great stand-up comedy and EVERYONE of those disgusting Hollywood executives (you know, the ones who would never get laid if it weren't for casting couches and prostitutes) wants to screw her. But she didn't get to where she is on her back, that's for sure. She has talent, and it's all the more reason to celebrate her on "Busting Chops". So here's to you, Sarah-YOU LOOOK MAHVELOUS, DAHLING-ABSOLUTELY MAHVELOUS!!!


Supposedly Jimmy Kimmel suffers from narcolepsy. How could you possibly sleep on her, Jimmy? HOW?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Come On, Sammy-WTF?


Stop this right now, Sammy. Please. You look like a fucking clown.


I understand-everybody does at least one thing that others would consider strange. It's your life, and if you're not hurting anyone else with malicious intent, then I say feel free to live as you wish. But really, what the fuck is this?

The dude already has his millions. Steroids or no, his story is pretty incredible, especially given the fact that I've visited the Dominican Republic many times and have seen the poverty some of these people live in up close. It is ghastly.

If you're dirt poor, there is literally no way out for you on that island. Others may disagree, but take my word for it-if you grew up shining shoes as a kid and make it to the major leagues to become a star like Sosa did...well, you have to take your hat off to him. Besides, he wasn't doing anything anyone else was doing and Major League Baseball looked the other way while it was (and probably still is) going on.

He has to be credited for breathing life back into baseball after the disastrous lockout, and anyone who witnessed The Summer of '98 will never forget the excitement in the streets of Washington Heights as finally one of their own was in the spotlight. He was greeted as a hero when he went back to the DR that year, and rightfully so. He gave hope to a lot of people that have very little of it. Let's not forget any of this when you take his full story into account.

But this really isn't ABOUT baseball. It's about something so ridiculously vain and sad that even I can't believe it. We can forgive some of the excesses of Dominican professional baseball players, who to a man all come from grinding poverty. Pedro Martinez with his yellow Lamborghini, riding on roads ill suited for anything but the sturdiest ATV (or army-issue tank, for that matter). Albert Belle, who constructed a gigantic moat around his house. And even Sosa, who instructed his architect to build the interior entrance of his mansion exactly like the mahogany staircase in the movie "The Titanic". All three thousand square feet of it. And that's just the ENTRANCE.

Supposedly Sosa isn't really welcome amongst the Dominican elites, the old-money blue-bloods who are for the most part Caucasian in appearance, as are the majority of the upper-crust in every Latin American country. It is reasonable to expect that someone as prestigious as he would want to become a part of that society, after all it is HIS country we are talking about.

But he is looked down upon because he was a shoeshine boy from the streets, with no education and no breeding to speak of and made his money as a "pelotero", which is held in high regard only by the lower classes, the ones who see baseball as THEE ONLY WAY to a better life. It's his background these people find low-brow and objectionable, not just the color of his skin, the texture of his hair or the color of his eyes.

In this particular case everything he stands for is held against him. And straightening his hair, wearing lime-green contacts and bleaching his skin isn't going to change that. He just winds up looking like a jive-ass turkey with serious racial identity issues. I'm kind of hoping this isn't the case, but the explanations offered so far seem utterly without credibility.

He is supposedly undergoing skin rejuvenation treatments. He is supposedly using a European night cream meant to help repair the damage done by years of playing in the sun. Others have cynically remarked that he is suffering from Vitiligo from all the steroids he's ingested over the years.

Whatever it is, he looks like a buffoon. Not just for the skin bleaching (who was the doctor that supervised these treatments? Dr. Mengele?) but for the terrible hair straightening and the abysmal colored contacts. At this stage of the game, does anyone really think colored contacts look natural? I've yet to see anyone wearing them that look even remotely authentic.

We love you just the way you are, Sammy-a lying, steroid abusing, I don't speak english in front of Congressional Committees, fun-loving doofus who entertained us when we were ready to turn our collective backs on our very own national pastime. You, along with the other steroid puppy Mark McGuire saved baseball whether anyone wants to admit it or not. That is the truth. Probably the only grain of truth in this proud man's stunning career.

But it just goes to show you how silly WE are. We can forgive THIS transformation-


But not THIS one?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Film Recommendation of the Week...

Europa
Release date May 22, 1992 (United States).
English/german w/english subtitles.
Running time 1 hour 52 minutes.




A film noir classic in every sense of the word. This is the tale of a young German/American who goes to Germany immediately after WWII to help the country rebuild. Naive, lonely and easily lead astray by (you guessed it) a beautiful babe, he gets caught up in the tangled psychological web of a cynical, jaded femme fatale who entwines him in a plot hatched by the "Werewolves", a post-war terrorist group of rabid ex-Nazis who look to sabotage the reconstruction efforts of the Americans.

The film is very creatively done, with characters filmed in color playing against pre-shot black and white background screens. Check out the version recently released by Criterion. It is the definitive version.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Babe of the Week for November 6, 2009 is...


Elizabeth Lambert!!!



She receives this prestigious honor not because she's cute (although she is) but for her unrepentant fits of reckless and malicious goonery during a college semi-final soccer match against BYU. The University of New Mexico junior took the term "soccer hooligan" to unseen heights. The more I watch the highlights of this game the more I'm left thinking this young lady is an absolute maniac.

Her behavior is all the more outrageous because this type of stuff is hardly ever seen in female college athletics. AS you watch the video, you will see that some of the shenanigans were actually retaliatory in nature. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it justifiable in a "Dirty Harry " kind of way, and that's good enough for us here on "Busting Chops".



For the record I do not condone this type of behavior, but I enjoy watching it after the fact. Especially when it's young, beautiful, athletic women going at it. Elizabeth Lambert is my kind of broad, a feisty dame that doesn't take any shit from her opponents and knows how to execute a series of perfectly administered cheap shots with panache and gusto. And that's really all you can ask for in a young lady.

Congrats, mami-you're a straight-up soccer goon and I love you for it. Never has someone performed such unsportsmanlike acts on the soccer pitch and looked so good doing it. Absolutely mahvelous, dahling!!!