Film Recommendation of the Week...

Inside Job
Release Date: October 8, 2010
Running time: 2 hours

Ladeez and Gentlemen, preesenting, the Ringling Brothers clusterfuck that made the financial meltdown possible, with plenty of blame to go around-from Democrats to Republicans, from the financial brokerage houses and their corporate lobbyists to the cocksuckers who masquerade as "financial experts" who offer their so-called expertise to the highest bidder and get paid to say whatever corporations want them to say. It's all here.

You will hear crap like lack of "personal responsibility" from Libertarians who want to blame the financial crisis on the welfare "nanny" state (i.e. minorities) and every other type of working-class schmuck who took out mortgages they couldn't afford. But the truth is somehow quite different from how they paint it. There is nothing better to disinfect the air of ignorance than researching the truth. And you are welcome to start with this excellent and sobering account of how Wall Street and the deregulation of the financial markets almost brought the world to the brink of financial ruin.

This film won the Academy Award for "Best Documentary" of 2010. Some critics (one in particular, a smarmy, self-satisfied asshole from ESPN named Bill Simmons who doesn't know anything about film and probably didn't see it) said it did not deserve the award because the financial crisis is still ongoing. Quite a telling insight, Einstein. But the film covers a large portion of what has happened up until this point, which is something that could not be done in a 50-60 minute synopsis. This moron had the audacity to say that the film that deserved the award was some bullshit documentary about some idiot graffiti artist who is so inept he is shown spilling paint in the back of his own SUV. Got news for you-an authentic graffiti artist (and I love and admire graffiti art) doesn't ride around town in an SUV.

The State of the NBA Pt. I...

Many trades went down before the NBA deadline that expired last Thursday, some good, some useless and others inexplicable. There are grumblings now that Dwight Howard will be the next soon-to-be free agent that will take his talents somewhere other than where he's currently playing, despite the fact that he can sign a more lucrative extension with the Orlando Magic. The talk is also of the current trend of star players choosing a city to go to and making it happen, much to the chagrin of small/mid-market teams.

Here are my thoughts on this-

Why do mid-market teams deserve to keep players when it's obvious they can't or won't improve their respective teams?

Carmelo Anthony was in Denver for 7 years, Lebron was in Cleveland for an eternity. How much more time does a franchise need?

Cleveland is in a terrible spot because no free agents want to live and work there. That's the harsh reality. Chris Bosh did not want to go there, Carlos Boozer took off, so James had no choice but to leave. And believe me he did everything in his power to talk to him and other players into joining him. They all declined. Denver got as far as they possibly could with their current set-up, and I don't blame Carmelo Anthony for looking for a new start with another team in a city he actually WANTS to live in.

So where is the loyalty, you ask? Pro sports isn't about loyalty, it's about money and access to whatever it is the players, fans and owners are looking for. When you have a team owner like the infamous Donald Sterling of the L.A. Clippers sitting on the sidelines heckling HIS OWN PLAYERS, it's easy to recognize that not everyone has the same agenda.

As far as team loyalty is concerned, here's another issue to consider-when a team focuses on clearing salary cap space to save money as opposed to making deals to bring in complimentary players to take the franchise to the next level, their star players have a right to be upset. Why should a great player waste the best years of his athletic life playing with a bunch of hobos that don't give a shit about making the playoffs?

How long do players like Deron Williams, Chris Paul and Dwight Howard have to play with dog franchises who won't spend money to compete, or can't or won't make trades to improve themselves? Or worse, make terrible trades that land them in a worse position than they were previously?

Just look at what Boston did. They traded their best defensive low-post presence, Kendrick Perkins because they didn't want to lose him to free agency without compensation. General manager Danny Ainge thought he was asking for too much money when renegotiating a new contract, yet with this bonehead move, one of the worst in the history of the league, they just cost themselves the title THIS YEAR.

And with Bostons' collective age, their window of opportunity is closing rapidly. It's all downhill for them next year. So instead of two or three titles in as many years, they will only garner one. One title that will up costing them a lot more money than Perkins was asking for.

Being a mid-market team didn't stop Oklahoma City from improving themselves. They wound up trading a young talent who, given their current roster was redundant in Jeff Green and some low-post corpse who couldn't guard a tree. Given this, what's stopping the other teams in similar markets besides brain-dead front office executives who are bad at their jobs and culturally out-of-touch Caucasian owners who think their players are their property? If you think I'm kidding about this, recall please the Cleveland Cavalier owner's comment when Lebron James left. He sounded like a slave master who found out his prize slave made it up North-except this time the Underground Railroad ran south and wasn't manned by Harriet Tubman but by Pat Riley.

Oklahoma City still isn't as talented as the Lakers, but as we've seen this year, L.A. seems unmotivated and stale. The are ripe to be taken out by a younger, faster and hungrier club and let's not forget it was the Thunder who inexplicably took their playoff series with the Lakers to 6 games, back when they didn't know what they were doing and looked as if they were just happy to be there. That's not going to be the case if they meet again this time around.

As for the Knicks, they got Carmelo Anthony, their best offensive perimeter scorer since Bernard King, and that was in the mid-1980's. The jury is still out on this one, given that they were beaten by Cleveland last night, a terrible game that really underscores what is truly wrong with them-they still suck. Chauncey Billups, a throw-in the Knicks had to take to get the deal done, has been running on fumes these last couple of years, and his game has gotten progressively worse out in Denver-shooting jumpshots on fast breaks, not running the offense properly, and more and more he resembles a tired, old bison from the wild west grazing in the meadow waiting for someone in a stagecoach to ride by and put him out of his misery.

More than any other position, point guard is a young man's game. The top NBA point guards are nowhere near 30 years of age, so for the Knicks to improve Billups has to go. I guess he'll do until Deron Williams or Chris Paul decide to take their talents to NYC, but the team is going nowhere except towards a first-round exit in the playoffs with the squad they currently have.

But hey, at least Carmelo's pseudo-celebrity wife LaLa Vasquez can market herself as...I have no idea what. I heard she got a job hosting some program on VH1, which tells you something about her ambitions running way ahead of her talent if that's the best she can do. But that's how C-list celebutantes married to famous athletes roll, so don't hate the player, HATE THE GAME!!!

Front-Runner for Sports Asshole of the Year...

It didn't take long with this one. I thought I'd had to wait at least until the end of March Madness, what with the NFL letting us down at the Superbowl. Not one player was caught unconscious with his head on a mountain of cocaine surrounded by hookers all running around the hotel suite looking for their panties and stiletto heels while discretely giving interviews to TMZ.com.

It will be hard for anyone to take the award away from this asshole, a college basketball coach at Holy Family University named John O’Connor, a bullshit Division-II school in Philadelphia I've never heard of in my life. And here I was thinking Philly was the city of Brotherly Love-

The incident is a typical run-of-the-mill rageaholic coaches-gone-wild type of deal. After his team got their asses kicked the night before, the coach decided to add a little spice to next day's practice with some extra discipline he wanted to instill in his young and impressionable players. How does he do this? How else? By snatching the ball from an unsuspecting player while his back was turned, throwing him onto the floor, kicking him, and then yelling at him to get the fuck up.

What's wrong with that, you ask? Isn't this how all asshole coaches behave after a humiliating loss? Well, basketball practices aren't supposed to be dress rehearsals for the basic training scene in "Full Metal Jacket". Also, coaches are not supposed to put their hands on their players, no matter how doofy and inept the player in question may be. That's not their fault, and if you recruited them don't get mad because they can't play ball up to our expectations. Blame yourself for being a bullshit coach at a bullshit school who has no choice but to recruit bullshit players because all the good ones would never give you the time of day. Division-II schools get the scraps in terms of local and national high school talent. That's the reality, and everyone knows it.

The other galling thing is that this school is a Catholic school. What the fuck is the athletic director doing not punishing this coach swiftly and severely? The player in question, a 6'5" sophomore named Matt Kravchuk, contacted the Athletic Director immediately after the practice was over but she did absolutely nothing until Kravchuk filed a police report. Then and only then was the coach suspended pending a further investigation.

Now the school has two problems-the ensuing public relations nightmare stemming from their initial mishandling of this case and now a potential civil lawsuit from the player's family. Way to go, Holy Family University. Way to get ahead of this one.

Here is a video of the incident (which of course was taped!!!) and the the coach and player in question, appearing on some stupid-ass TV show-



Someone had the audacity to say the video portion of the incident was "taken out of context". What a laugh. But worse than that are the excuses used by soon-to-be ex-coach O'Connor, moaning how he can't believe this incident "happened to him", obnoxiously refusing to own up to the fact that he was the instigator of this whole mess. The student-athlete in question, meanwhile, had every right to haul off and crack his skull in self-defense but did not. The assaulted athlete showed more restraint than his coach did, yet the coach is still officially a staff member of the athletic department and Kravchuk is out. How's that for irony?

This should be a lesson to all asshole coaches out there. You are not so great at your job that you cannot be replaced, this guy especially. There are still coaches out there who because they win are given carte blanche to be monumental pricks (Mike Krzyzewski of Duke University is a prime example of this. If someone ever decides to write a tell-all book on this motherfucker, exposing just what an abusive, unhinged lunatic he is towards his players I'll pay full retail for the hardcover version) but even if you win you can go too far. And in these technologically advanced days we live in, you have no idea who is taping your rants and assaults for posterity.

Coach Frank Martin of Kansas State University-you are next. Anyone who has seen this maniac in action on the sidelines can testify to his antics, both towards his players AND the referees. If I were him I'd go see a doctor about this rage issue and take double the recommended dose of whatever medication the shrink prescribes.Coach Martin-keep fucking around the way you do and it's going to cost you your job, just like it's going to cost this dickhead O'Connor HIS job when the investigation is concluded.

Home Entertainment and the advent of the Man-Cave...

I have to admit that right now my home entertainment system is presently made up of my computer and nothing else. I don't watch regular TV or listen to the radio. But the other day I went to a friend's house (at his request) to help him install surround sound speakers and an A/V receiver. Not being given the instruction manual beforehand, I was at a loss in terms of which wires went where, so for all intent and purposes I was useless, or should I say more useless than usual. That's saying a lot, but I digress.

My conclusion is that home entertainment systems are what has been rotting the inner core of American society ever since leisure time has become a pagan ritual of the ever-dwindling middle-class. This is why fantasy sports leagues have morphed into a multi-billion dollar industry driven by bloated, sedentary suburban white males with too much time on their hands and a morbid obsession with beer, chips, salsa dip, 6-foot heroes, and athletically gifted minorities.

Homeland Security should go after these domestic terrorists. They are destroying the fabric of the nuclear family. While these assholes are in their basements, wearing their foam cheesehead hats and rooting for their Green Bay Packers, upstairs their domestic life is crumbling right before their overextended bellies. They have kids they don't pay attention to, which is why their daughters become junior high-school anal sex/blowjob queens, taking more meat up their behinds than a Seymor Butts Tushie Girl, and why their sons are online pledging their allegiance to the local chapter of the Fraternal Order of Nazi Skinheads.

And let's not forget mom, who if she isn't fucking Gustavo the poolboy and comparing how much of his second-class, illegal alien jizz she can swallow in one gulp in comparison to her equally bored and useless housewife neighbors (must keep up with the Jones', especially if Mrs. Jones is managing to slurp and deepthroat her landscaper's assistant's cock while tonguing his testicles all in the same mouthful), is joining her husband in this pathetic bloat-athon to see who can gain more weight the fastest.

Let me describe these motherfuckers-these are cats with $50,000 custom mahogany man-caves, shrines  devoted specifically to watching predominantly Latino and African American athletes from impoverished backgrounds, cheering for them on the field while secretly wanting to be like them (except for the skin-color part), with their chiseled torsos and their humongous schlongs.

This is quite an odd paradox. These same sports fans, helplessly devoted to their respective franchises, are the same ones who take a bizarre pride in watching young men from the very same ethnic and socio-economically deprived backgrounds on penitentiary reality shows like "Lock Up Hardcore-Pelican Bay". What you have transpiring in the basement of most suburban homes is a bizarre mix of jealousy, admiration, envy and visceral hatred towards a group of young men who they wouldn't want moving next door to them for fear their property values would plummet. Yet these same men become heroes on Sundays when the prison uniforms are exchanged for the colors of their home teams.

There was no better example of this disconnect than when Rush Limbaugh tried to purchase a stake in an NFL franchise. Limbaugh, whose obsession with race and black skin color can only be described as demonic, had the audacity to be taken aback when black NFL players stated unequivocally that they wouldn't play for his fat, Oxycontin-abusing monkey ass if he became an owner.

Limbaugh is the cultural zeitgeist for his ilk, a group of men who can be found in their basements plastered, literally and figuratively, in front of their 15,000-inch flatscreen TVs with a bowl of Cheetos and tanks full of cheap beer attached to funnels that chug brew straight from the keg right into their hippo-sized mouths, cheering on athletes they want their sons to be like yet at the very same time so desperately despise.

This brings us back to the home entertainment conundrum. I could not for the life of me concentrate on getting any work done at my friend's apartment. If I spent 5 minutes running a wire or setting up a speaker stand, I had to take a 30-minute break from the exhaustion. This is what home entertainment systems do to the average male-it destroys one's desire to get the fuck off that leather recliner and live life. But I put the blame squarely on the shoulders of my friend, who went out of his way to purchase a huge flatscreen TV and couches so comfortable and plush they would not be out of place on the most exclusively appointed yacht. I could see Pablo Escobar ordering furniture like this for HIS den. And if it's good enough for "El Padrino" it certainly is good enough for us mere mortals.

Besides, who the fuck wants to work when Sportscenter is on? And since I've never had the pleasure of such accommodations (in my house it was either a bit of furniture OR a TV, never both. And never in the same room. And cable TV? That was something out of "The Jetsons", and always something someone else had, not us. Yes, I had to actually go outside and do something for my entertainment. Sounds sad? Not really-it's the reason why at 5'10" I managed to play college basketball and football from 7th thru 12th grade) it was too much sensory overload. Not only was I becoming the type of dude I categorically loathe, I was ENJOYING it.

The moral of the story is, please steer clear of the man-cave. The whole basement thing with the multiple seating capacity for your equally out-of-shape friends, large screen TV and the separate refrigerated room for storing huge slabs of cold cuts is out of the question. This is a recipe for disaster that many should seriously strive to avoid. A man-cave is the indoor equivalent of tailgating, and will only lead to bratwurst-induced hypertension, anal fissures, hemorrhoids, flatulence, high blood pressure, triglyceride levels that would rival Ty Cobb's career batting average, broken marriages and the disappearance of one's libido. Not having sex because you're a fat fuck can be remedied with exercise, a proper diet and a woman who wants to sleep with you. Purposely preferring a BLT hoagie with french fries, a large pizza, pickles and a 3-liter of Pepsi over sex is inexcusable.

Montana Fishburne-another positive role model for young black women to emulate...

Lawrence Fishburne's daughter Montana has decided to become a porn star and has already shot two films that I know of. When I saw her youtube video hanging out with a skinny, Don King afro-wearing hoodrat clown she called her boyfriend (an alleged pimp who is also trying to get into the business) and porno star/director Brian Pumper (he of the TT Boy line of erotic cinema fame) I could not believe it. This has been news for quite a while but only recently have the reports come across the desks of our home office here at "Busting Chops".


Female porn stars are very funny people. If you ever look up some of their biographies or read some of their interviews, they always make themselves out to be exotic, multi-talented people from diverse backgrounds who chose porn as a means of empowerment and self-expression. When I think of self-expression, I head to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for motivation, not to a porn set to get creampied, fucked in the ass until it's the size of a manhole cover and splashed with semen from multiple anonymous erections.



I'm not going to moralize about this woman's life choice (yes I am) but there is something very strange going on here. Beautiful, young black sisters with the opportunities this young lady had (past tense) don't need to degrade themselves like this. There are many women just like her who work dead-end jobs raising children by themselves who would never stoop to such depraved depths. So, the existential question to be asked here is, "What The Fuck Is This Stupid Bitch Doing?"


We don't know what type of relationship Lawrence had with his daughter growing up. Then again, there are many families grappling with this same problem-you raise a kid in a decent, loving environment and they still turn out to be assholes. Basically, child-rearing is a crapshoot, and you can only do the best you can. My guess is her home life could not have been a solid, healthy one for her to resort to this. She seems incredibly unstable and neurotic. One minute she's working with Brian Pumper (under the porn name "Chip-D") then she decides to sue him for releasing a porn video that was supposedly a warm-up for her debut with the Vivid Video adult film company.


In the last year, she's been arrested for domestic violence and "solicitation" (prostitution to you and me), did a stint in a 30-day drug rehab/anger management facility and has been been alleged to have been a prostitute ever since she met her slimeball boyfriend pictured above, who is allegedly her pimp and was the one who put her out in the street to sell that fat ass in the first place because he wanted to get paid.

Who the fuck knows. I'm pretty sure Lawrence isn't going to discuss this on Oprah Winfrey anytime soon. Before disowning her, he did offer his daughter one solid piece of advice-"you don't use your real name in porn". That's great, Larry. Absolutely awesome job there in helping guide her professional career as a serial public fornicator (not that there's anything wrong with that).


But Montana (who's vagina already, at the ripe old age of 19, eerily resembles a greasy hamburger and has some serious issues with boils all over her ass) stated that since this type of exposure was good for the career of Kim Kardashian, it should open the same doors for her. But Kim is a celubu-whore, famous for an amateur sex tape that was about as erotic as a visit to the dentist. She was terrible in that flick, as was her chimeric whorno-twin Paris Hilton in her video, aptly titled "One Night in Paris". These women exemplify the rotten underbelly of the American Dream, where no-talent losers feels it's their divine right to be famous without putting in work at anything except being on-camera whores and reality-show swine.


My darling Montana, I've always thought you were a cutie, with your ghetto 'round the way looks, and anticipate seeing you taking massive cock up your ass. But it saddens me that you have to resort to this type of behavior at a time when young black women are starving for positive role models, women who don't consider gagging on humongous moose dicks and smiling into the camera while gallons of cum drip all over their face a positive career move.

Pinky the porn star said it best-(I paraphrase-) "Montana Fishburne doing porn is like some trust-fund baby from the suburbs deciding he wants to go to the 'hood and stand on the corner selling $10 dollar bottles of crack". Exactly. This career move makes no fucking sense for Montana. Who knows, and it's why Montana can only be considered a mentally unstable, drug-addicted hoochie who was born a social misfit and sexual deviate. That is in her DNA and she will never change. Here's to you, Montana Fishburne-looking forward to your next flick in which hopefully you have those unsightly boils removed from our butt cheeks so I can watch you get DP'ed without being distracted or grossed the fuck out.

Film Recommendation of the Week...

An Education
Release date: October 30, 2009
Running time: 1 hour 35 minutes


Jenny Mellor a studious 16-year old British girl with dreams of going to Oxford, is casually but persuasively seduced by David Goldman, an older gentleman who shows her the world of fine restaurants, fine art and travel. He manages to even persuade her stuffy father to let her go off on weekends to Oxford and Paris.

Goldman is played with an effortless charm by American actor Peter Sarsgaard, who so casually persuades Jenny's parents to allow her to go out with him that one almost doesn't notice that this is a man that is used to getting what he wants regardless of the circumstances.


The first sign we get that things are not what they seem is on their first date, when it is revealed that David's friend's date is not the cultured woman of the world she appears to be. She certainly is dressed impeccably, but is in all reality a woman of very limited intellect, conspicuously yawning during the orchestras' performance and not understanding a word of French.

The next trip-up in this whirlwind romance is when they go to a house to steal a very expensive framed map from an old woman's house. Jenny becomes immediately distressed, but the charming David talks her back into the fold. The story carries on with the changes this relationship has on her life, with her parents and especially at school, where she is warned by some very stuffy teachers and administrators that she is throwing her life away.

Jenny, played by Carey Mulligan, is an absolutely wonderful actress. She makes the transformation from a schoolgirl dreaming of breaking free from her restrictive environment to a young woman of the world right before our very eyes almost effortlessly. Part of the charm of this film are the actors, and by that I mean their complexions. Sarsgaard and Mulligan are so fresh-faced and full of vitality that I thought I was watching a Noxema commercial (do they still sell that crap? I want my money back!!!). But they are also very talented, and watching them do their thing is a joy to behold.



Jenny comes to the typical working-class conclusion that there are no short-cuts in life, and that whatever dreams you may have you have to work for them and not sit around waiting for someone to come along and make them come true for you. We are privy here to some excellent acting by everyone in the cast; passionate yet understated performances in the way only the Brits can pull it off. It is quite a film, and one I recommend highly.

For all you zombie fans out there...

You must check out the new series from the AMC channel called...

The Walking Dead


This made-for-tv series is an adaptation of the graphic novel by Robert Kirkman of the same name. I've seen the first two episodes and it's excellent. In fact, it's gotten such rave reviews that it was picked up for a second season on the strength of it's initial popularity. Nothing like a good old fashioned zombie apocalypse to see us through the cold and miserable fall and winter months.

Everyone involved in this project is thoroughly invested in making it as genuine as possible. The producers/directors are working closely with the graphic novel's creator to make it authentic and true to his vision, which is quite rare in the film industry. The first year will be six episodes followed by thirteen second year . Kudos to AMC for having the foresight and belief in this project to see it through.

The scene takes place in the the greater Atlanta, Georgia area, where a police officer from a suburban town outside the city is initially hospitalized for wounds suffered in a shootout with some guys after a high-speed chase. He wakes up in the hospital and realizes that something has gone terribly wrong.

He has no communication with the outside world, which has turned into a nightmare landscape of the walking dead. Injured as he is, he attempts to go home and finds his wife and son are gone. He winds up in Atlanta trapped in an army tank while marauding herds of zombies feast on the horse he rode in on. He is saved with the guidance of a bunch of disparate characters holed up in the local department store. These people, thrown together from all walks of life, are attempting to navigate through what has become a chaotic new world order, one that offers no clues for survival and seemingly no way out.The rest I'll leave for you to watch.

Totally and completely awesome.