After an exhaustive two month "sting" operation, it has come to the attention of the battle-ax housewives of the good state of Washington as to why their henpecked husbands love to take a ride down to the ol' Grab-n-Go Espresso drive-thru coffee house.
Baristas Charged in Sex Sting
Names: Five women, names not yet released
Location: Everett, Wash.
Background: Detectives posing as customers at the Grab-n-Go Espresso say women were charging up to $80 to flash their skin as they mixed coffee drinks. Witnesses report that women exposed and touched their breasts and buttocks, engaging in a "whipped cream show."
So, what was it about this story that caught my attention? The fact that it took law enforcement 2 months of investigation and surveillance to bring these hoochies to their knees? (pun intended) Or the fact that the offending twats could only get a grand total of 90 days in jail and a $1,000 fine, and that's if they don't plead down which they most certainly will? Seems mighty fucking stupid to spend all that time, taxpayer money and effort when there are some real bad guys out there who are in dire need of surveillance. Has Washington eradicated all of it's meth labs? Is there nothing better for law enforcement to do than a pathetic sting operation of this nature?
But this is America, land of the sexually repressed, and certainly we cannot have any of this. It corrodes the vital fabric of our society, it undermines our core values, the morals that we as a nation hold so dear and what has made this country great...
...and because there is nothing more disgusting than a hot, beautiful young lady spreading her butt cheeks to expose the glory of her genitalia while serving up a hot cup of Joe to a bunch of losers who would pay up to $80 for the opportunity to see something they will never get close to in a million years.
Might as well taser me right now, 'cause there is no fucking way I'm letting a cop arrest me wearing those shorts.