I Am NOT a Role Model...

Charles Barkley was right all those years ago when he made that Nike commercial stating why he isn't a role model. For every professional athlete that does the right thing, we always get one or two that live down to the expectations we have of them here on "Busting Chops". Unfortunately, these are the ones that get the most publicity for all the wrong reasons. But even in the annals of athletes behaving badly, some stories always have a twist that make even their transgressions out of the ordinary.

Take for example Kendrick Perkins, center for the Oklahoma Thunder. He gets arrested for causing a ruckus at "The Ticket" nightclub in Beaumont, Texas at 2 a.m. Saturday morning. According to witness testimony, he for whatever reason wanted to fight the manager of the club. As he was summarily escorted from said club, he kept on while outside and decided he wanted to fight some of the people who shoved him out, yelling obscenities galore. After some healthy doses of pepper spray, the cops booked him on misdemeanor charges that carry no potential jail time.

First of all, let's be thankful that no one was hurt, because Perkins is the type of guy who is the biggest and strongest dude by far wherever he goes, and it could have gotten ugly. Fifty drunk and high Lilliputians were not going to stop him if he really wanted to let loose and fuck some people up.

Second of all, there is the irony of it all. Perkins was in the area hosting a camp that raises money for his foundation, which helps children learn "life skills". LIFE SKILLS!!! HAHAHA!!! Skills like the ones he displayed while out partying. Someone somewhere has video of this, I know it. These days everyone has a cell phone with video capability, so expect an update on this very soon.

Straight Cash Homey, or I'm OUT!!!

Randy Moss, after his agent declared that his client was in the best shape of his career, decides to file papers for retirement. Apparently he wasn't too thrilled with the lack of offers he was getting, while other receivers like Plaxico Burress and Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson were signed with no problems whatsoever.

There is no denying Moss is/was one of the most talented receivers that ever played the game. You're talking about a cat who was "Mr. Basketball" in high school two years straight while playing alongside Jason Williams, Mr. "White Chocolate" himself. His list of athletic feats are too numerous to list here, and besides it's not the point. No one is denying this guy doesn't have plenty left in the tank. What NFL coaches are loathe to admit is that it's his attitude that's adversely affected their willingness to sign him.

This is nothing new. He was kicked out of his high school during his senior year for participating in a racially-motivated brawl. While on probation he was kicked out of Division-I Florida State for testing positive for marijuana. To avoid losing a year of eligibility, he signed with Division-I AA Marshall, a short ride from his home so he could resume playing football immediately. While at Marshall, the school who was kind enough to give this surly freak of nature a second chance, he did nothing but make friends and influence people. Let's just say that talent aside, no one on campus was sad to see him go to the NFL, where despite his production Moss played for three different teams last year and was as motivated to give it 100% as a tired, old stripper on Tuesday 2-for-1 Lapdance Night.

This is what America sees when they think of Moss-not the spectacular athleticism, not the catches and the touchdowns, but the type of epic buffoonery that someone recorded and immediately uploaded to Youtube. If this is his legacy, it will go down as one of the stupidest comments ever caught on video, akin to the "Practice? We're talkin' about practice?" diatribe by another supremely talented athlete who also played himself out of his chosen profession, Allen Iverson-




Streetball Antics Gone Too Far...
Everyone knows Michael Beasley, the former number 2 NBA draft pick, had issues galore before he entered the league. He has a camp of enablers who only see him as a meal ticket, from irresponsible coaches to his close relatives who constantly made excuses for his idiotic behavior, which stem back to the first grade (when he actually attended school). He's been busted for marijuana more times than Cheech and Chong and went through 6 different high schools in I-don't-know-how-many different states. Judging from this clip, it's also apparent he doesn't have the temperament to deal with the type of inner-city hecklers that live for moments like this-



Message to cats like Beasley-there are plenty of pro-am leagues around the country that do not have the same environment as places like the Dyckman Tournament in Upper Manhattan. The crowd, as you can see from the video (shot in glorious high definition) doesn't respect the court. They are on top of the players like an avalanche of sheer antagonism. They smoke weed and drink cheap malt liquor before, during and after the games and are hostile as hell. Some are local drug dealers, others just your basic run-of-the-mill ghetto thugs. The rest are just assholes who come out to ruin the game for participants and spectators alike. Imagine one of Michael Vick's dog fighting extravaganzas and you'll get a sense of the environment at parks like Dyckman-

*Disclaimer-the language in this video is offensive, moreso than what you'd find here on this blog. We do not in any way, shape or form condone the use of such language, which absolutely crosses the line. But I feel this type of rude behavior needs to be exposed for the world to see, so people know the level of abuse these players have to put up with for the sake of 'reppin the game in the 'hood. This is the thanks they get-

I have to say the heckler got the better of Beasley, but I'm glad Michael retaliated. Now everyone in the 'hood knows this anonymous, loud-mouth heckler got exactly what he deserved. He'll never be able to live that one down, and there won't be one person who won't remind him of the time he got his grill mushed by an NBA player.

Still in all, not a good idea on Beasley's part. But would anyone expect any less from this pot-smoking, tattooed, underachieving cartoon character?

Carlos Zambrano Implodes...

This cat isn't running on fumes, he's running on empty big-time. After signing a mega-deal worth $91.5 million dollars in 2007, he's been a pathetic shell of his former self. My personal opinion is, like what we witnessed at the 2010 Tour de France from Lance Armstrong, after a while the steroids stop working. And no, it's not the testing protocols instituted by MLB that has become a deterrent. An amateur PED expert administering a half-assed steroid regimen can get his client to test clean for those tests, which are announced so far in advance you'd have to be a Category-5 moron like Manny Ramirez to fail one, much less two.

So, after giving up FIVE homers to the Atlanta Braves the other day (which begs the question-why didn't the manager pull Zambrano out of the game in the first place?) he then goes after Chipper Jones not once, but twice with pitches close enough to shave a coconut. He did this to purposely get thrown out of the game, because we all know Zambrano is a class act all the way. After he gets ejected and while his team is still playing, he cleans out his locker and leaves the ballpark, announcing later that he is retiring from baseball.

So not only does he quit on his team while out on the mound, he then proceeds to quit on them before the game even ends. Excellent. This has all the markings of uncontrollable 'roid rage. No, it's not his infamous temperament, as is always brought up whenever any Latin player or idiot manager like the soon-to-be-fired Ozzie Guillen goes ballistic. Venezuela, aside from President Hugo Chavez and his fits of lunacy, is known primarily for two other things-gang violence/street crime and for the ease in which steroids can be procured without a prescription at any local pharmacy. And their baseball academies (run and administered by Major League Baseball, by the way) are absolutely marinating in PED's. Zambrano is a product of this environment, so his latest antics speak to his obvious ongoing use. the problem is he can't get anyone out anymore, and he is getting paid top-notch money as if he still can.

I always say if you're going to go down, go down in flames. Zambrano, if it's true he did retire, did the Cubs a tremendous favor. One because he sucks. Two because one of the unforgivable sins in the archaic and stupid baseball book of unwritten rules states clearly that you never give up on your team, which Carlos did not once, but twice in the span of one inning. Good-bye, asshole. And good riddance. America, next time one of these athletes lets you down, watch this commercial and put your sorry-ass life into perspective-