Saturday, June 16, 2012

Babe of the Week for June 15, 2012 is...

Alejandra Sandoval!!!

Here on "Busting Chops" we scour the Earth to find the absolute hottest babes and bring them to you. This week is no exception. I ran into this hottie while perusing the putrid, creatively bankrupt landscape  that is cable television, a cesspool of feculant programming whose very existence depends on how low on the scale of human dysfunction it drags it's participants, and with it, we the viewing public. The airwaves are inundated with reality shows featuring the worst bottom feeders imaginable; profoundly disturbed mental misfits with the most egregious entitlement issues and undiagnosed DSM-III-R disorders this side of Nurse Ratched's insane asylum.

Turn to the Spanish channels and you see something completely different-soppy, overly-melodramatic soap operas with badly written scripts overacted with miserable aplomb by performers who couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. But boy are those Latin babes hot!!! And here is one of them.

For some reason, I had a difficult time finding photos that do this woman justice. Watching her on television doing her thing as a narco-harlot in the series "Las Muñecas de la Mafia" ("Mafia Dolls") was absolutely mesmerizing. I'm not talking about her acting, because I had no idea what was going on during the episode I watched, nor did I care. This is one truly stunning beauty, and to say she loooks mahvelous is a gross understatement.

In "Las Muñecas de la Mafia", Alejandra stars as "Violeta", daughter of a notorious drug smuggler. The story is about the allure of money, power, extreme excess and the beauty that is bought and sold just like any other commodity. It all ends badly, especially for the gorgeous women who happily sign a pact with the Devil for a taste of the good life without thinking of the consequences that are in store for them.

But who cares-these chicas look mahvelous, dahling-absolutely mahvelous!!! And Alejandra is one of the most beautiful babe on the whole program. If there was a way to hook up with a babe like this without having to move tons of illegal drugs across the Mexican/US border and indiscriminately murder people, dismembering their bodies and hanging their headless carcasses from highway overpasses the way they do in sunny Mexico...but you can't have it all, can you? So for the poor schlubs who will never, ever in their lives get within 100 feet of such a sweet and beguiling princess, we are here to present Alejandra to apread a little joy into your life!!!

Alejandra was born in Cali, Colombia, and is a true representative of what a fine Colombian babe looks like. I always laugh at the stupid gringos who visit impoverished Latin American countries looking for "true love" in the form of a mail-order bride and wind up marrying the absolute dustiest, road-kill looking bitch they can find. These dingleberries need to understand you cannot find true love in a country where women would do anything to leave, including marrying some North American jackass who has to rely on the salespeople at Burlington Coat Factory for fashion advice. Then there is the language barrier and the cultural divide of living in third-world poverty, a minefield many "idiotas y estupidos" navigate with all the grace of a hobo stumbling down a flight of stairs at the neighborhood homeless shelter.

In other words, if you marry one of these foreign, gold-digging hoochies who are only interested in escaping from their country and dumping your monkey ass the first chance they get, do society a favor and get the finest broad you can. She's going to leave when she gets to the states for someone with more money than you regardless, so might as well make it count. If it lasts three months, that will constitute the happiest moments of your life, so make sure you take pictures because no one will believe you, even if you're the one buying the forty ounces with your EBT card. You can always go back to the Bowery empty-handed anytime you want-believe me when I tell you they're holding your spot. If you decide to partake in such a venture, see what it's like to be on the winning side for once. Shoot for the moon, motherfuckers. You only live once*.

*This public service announcement was brought to you by the cynical and sarcastic bastards at "Busting Chops".

Here she is in a short interview shot in Bogotá, Colombia-

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