Friday, July 6, 2012

Old Timer's Day in the NBA...

The New York Knicks have added pieces to their team that will take them absolutely nowhere. Jason Kidd, who will be 40 next March, signed for three years for a whopping 9 million dollars. Marcus Camby just got a three year deal at 13.2 million at 38 years of age. The Knicks plan on matching the Houston Rockets' offer sheet to restricted free agent Jeremy Lin for 4 years at almost 30 million. And they re-signed ass-meister J.R. Smith, who's best move all last year was posting a photo of his girlfriend's fat culo on Twitter. None of these moves will make them one bit better. Their main problems are as follows-

1) Carmelo Anthony is a one-dimensional, out of shape ballhog who is more intent on cheating on his wife with every hoochie in New York City every time she leaves town than on getting his game to mesh with the other players on the team. Every single problem the Knicks have revolves around him. The only reason he's even here is because his wife, LaLa, wanted to be in the Big Apple to advance her career as an equally useless reality television star and awards show hostess extraordinaire.

2) Amar'e Stoudemire is a shell of his former self, with back and knee issues requiring surgical procedures he refuses to get. Because of this, he has lost his athleticism. He also cannot attack the basket due to the Knicks having no point guard who can run an effective pick-and-roll, something he perfected in Phoenix with Steve Nash and that is now the offense du jour in the NBA.

3) Injuries to players young and old. Madison Square Garden has the highest rate of knee injuries per capita in the whole league. Iman Shumpert, their promising defensive stopper, went down with an ACL tear. Lin was out of the playoffs due to torn cartilage, and who can forget the sorry sight below when the perpetually out of shape Baron Davis destroyed his knee late last year. Davis basically ruined what little was left of a career that was already difficult to see from the fumes he was running on-

So what is the Knicks answer to an unathletic backcourt? Get even more unathletic by adding an aging veteran (Kidd) and pairing him up with a suspect point guard (Lin) who is the NBA equivalent of Tim Tebow. What these idiots are doing is officially beyond my comprehension. They are back to being saddled with egregiously onerous long-term contracts that are going to be worth less and less as time goes on, becasue these bums ain't gonna produce. And as a Knicks fan, I'm officially throwing in the towel-

I'm glad Stoudemire and Anthony got their millions, but they are a terrible fit together. If MSG owner James Dolan continues with this stupidity, the next time the Knicks win a championship will be when aliens invade the Earth and decide on devouring every crackhead sports franchise owner before leaving. Dolan will be first on the menu, as he is the biggest idiot owner in the league.

*Update-the Houston Rockets have offered Lin a contract that pays him 15 million in the third year. The Knicks have decided not to match the offer, and instead went after Raymond Felton. Jason Kidd has been arrested on Long Island on a DUI charge after plowing his Cadillac Escalade into a telephone pole Sunday, July 15th. An inauspicious start indeed for the Knicks in what has been an off-season full of moves that scream desperation on their part.

The Miami Heat managed to lure Ray Allen away from Boston. At 36 he can still contribute, but off the bench and with limited minutes. He was going to have the same opportunities with the Celtics for more money, but with the Heat he has the opportunity to win another championship or two before he officially retires. Boston fans will hate him, but he gave them everything he had. If they want to hate anyone, it should be the Celtics front office, who basically blew up their bench and brought in a carousel of superannuated aardvarks (Jermaine and Shaquille O'Neal come to mind) who never panned out due to age and injuries from never being in shape (again, do these general managers EVER learn?).

The glaring hypocrisy of Boston fans was in full effect for calling Allen a traitor, when all last year he was the subject of intense trade rumors until the deadline in February. Then they go out and sign a shorter and not-as-efficient version of Allen in Dallas' Jason Terry. Imagine Allen returning, signing a proposed three-year deal and then getting traded to Cleveland by December. I don't think so. And with Boston inexplicably signing Kevin Garnett to a three-year deal, you just know they are headed in the wrong direction. Garnett is indeed a warrior, but I think the Celtics believe he can still perform like he did against the Heat in the playoffs. That was a mirage. What no one can see is that he has lost his ability to attack and defend the basket becacue he has no more lift in his legs, and is basically a turnaround jump shooter who can get taken to the basket by quicker and younger players.

The theme in this NBA off-season so far has been "Whoever is the oldest bum out there, line up to get paid". Some of these guys won't see the end of their contracts, others should have retired YEARS ago, but they will be collecting checks until they're eligible for motorized scooters. There is a serious lack of talent available  to anyone wanting to sign free agents, which is why these walking corpses are being exhumed from their graves. And another reason why teams like the Heat and Oklahoma City will continue to dominate for years to come.

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